from Ransom

2010-11-12T21:48:00.001-06:00

Fall has definitely come to my neck of the woods! The crazy border collie and goofie newfie and I have been thoroughly enjoying these Autumn days!

I'm glad to report that the annoying Spokeswoman managed to follow me through my final show without hindering my performance with her own errors, so it went quite well. I tied for First Place in Rally Novice and received Fourth Place in Obedience Novice. With my third show, I earned my first Rally Title (RN) and my first Obedience Title (CD). I heard a rumor recently that my brother and sister are planning on trying their own hand at showing. I guess I will be quite tied up teaching them the ropes this winter. Oh, I don't think I mentioned...my sister, Gabby, is returning from Alaska after an absence of nearly two years! She will be going to live with my brother, Vader! I think my visit to her last January left her missing Vader and I so much that she finally convinced her Spokeswoman in letting her come back home here to the Lower 48! She is due to be coming back the first week of December. I can't wait for all three of us to get together again!

Sorrow and Misery

2010-10-23T18:47:00.000-05:00

I don't know whether to GROWL fiercely or HOWL piteously...

Today I made a PERFECT score in Rally...but did I GET a perfect score? No! Because my idiot Spokeswoman made a 270 degree left turn when she SHOULD have made a 270 degree RIGHT turn. I heeled obediently all the way through with her but burned holes into her with my eyes trying desperately to CLUE HER IN to her mistake. Only because of MY extreme efforts, did she realize her blunder just in the nick of time to ask the judge for our one allowed "redo". We redid the exercise, perfectly the second time--since my directionally impaired Spokeswoman figured out her right from her left the second time around--but, of course, we still suffered the mandatory 3 point penalty for a "redo"...so, what would have been a perfect 100 score plummeted down to 97...and my first place ribbon dropped to a fourth place ribbon--all because of the SPOKESWOMAN.

The Spokeswoman gathered up all the ribbons I've accumulated over the last two days and seemed quite pleased with herself. She just does NOT get it!

And here I lie...

I feel a howl working it's way up that would make a Siberian proud.

Earned My First Leg Towards Obedience CD Titleand My First Leg Towards Rally RN Title!

2010-10-22T19:54:00.003-05:00

Here I am in the back of the car just after finishing my first grueling day of showing! I am headed back for another show tomorrow morning! Sure wish I could find a decent handler to pair up with me before then! Oh well. I'll keep dragging the dead weight of the Spokeswoman if I have to!

Well, today I competed in a dog show for the first time ever! I, of course did exceptionally well, I only wish the same could be said of my handler! The bossy Spokeswoman insisted SHE get to be the one to "handle" me in the ring...BIG mistake! She didn't have a CLUE what SHE was suppose to do. It is so DIFFICULT getting a decent score when one is handicapped with an incompetent handler...but, I managed to pull her through!

I entered Obedience Novice B and Rally Novice B. Even though I have never set foot in a ring, myself, I had to compete with experienced dogs because (incredible as it seems!) my Spokeswoman actually handled a dog that earned an Obedience title (23 years ago). The only thing I can figure is that dog must have been smart enough to make up for her ineptness. At any rate, because SHE had "put" a title on a dog (albeit 23 years ago), I had to enter "B" level instead of "A" level. Which, really, is quite unfair, if you ask ME! None-the-less, I arose to the occasion and made qualifying scores in BOTH events. I took fifth in Obedience and fourth in Rally. I'm sure I could have handily captured FIRST in both had I had a decent handler! Oh well...guess I am stuck with the Spokeswoman I have!

(I suppose my ever-jealous-sister will have some sarcastic remark to make! I would just like to point out in advance that SHE does not possess the SKILLS necessary to excel in either the Obedience Ring nor the Rally Ring. SHE still can't even COME when her Spokesperson calls her! I suppose, though, that she really can't help it that she is such a slow learner. She just got shortchanged when the genes were distributed in our litter!)

A Fun Day Out With My Brother...

2010-10-11T07:20:00.001-05:00

Yes...my brother loves me!

My brother, Vader

Wonderful Holiday!

2010-09-06T23:39:00.006-05:00

Dexter

Well, I had an EXCELLENT Labor Day Holiday! Dexter visited on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. It's been so long since we've gotten to hang out that we had a lot of catching up to do!

Oh, and my dramatic sister, Gabby, is at it again! She's been running around telling everyone that will listen that SHE is the great great granddaughter of the two time World Champion, Ulk von Arlett, like she just discovered that fact yesterday or something. I, personally, think it is pretty pathetic to have to drag out your pedigree to try and impress others. Vader and I have both been quite embarrassed by her all her bragging and preening. I suspect she is simply trying to deflect everyone's attention away from that humiliating escapade of hers, running off chasing a herd of reindeer for three days and never CATCHING a single one of them! My goodness...if I were to chase a herd of reindeer, I would certainly be able to at least CATCH one of them! But, she came trotting back to Nome empty handed. Figures!!! Guess the fact that HALF OF NOME was out scouring the wilderness for her, worried sick over her, has to be pretty embarrassing to her...as well it should be!

2010-09-01T07:19:00.003-05:00

Whoa! Life is LOOKIN' UP! I just found out that DEXTER is coming over tomorrow to STAY for several days!!!

2010-08-31T06:10:00.000-05:00

monday, monday...ugh!

2010-08-30T07:29:00.005-05:00

MONDAYS....are just...so...annoying...

News Flash!

2010-08-29T23:55:00.002-05:00

My idiot sister has been found! She was AWOL for three days, having last been seen herding a group of about 80 reindeer into the wilderness 38 miles away from Nome, Alaska. There's been an all points bulletin out her ever since...with half the population of Nome treking out to the gravel road towards Teller, looking for that mutt sister of mine. She always DID cause more drama than anyone else would ever have the nerve to stir up!

Gabby is always has been a bit slow witted....when that prey drive of hers kicks in, she is stone deaf and doesn't have the sense of an acorn! Near as we can tell, she chased the reindeer herd for 50 or 60 miles before figuring out that maybe she ought to stop and take stock of the situation a bit more closely! By then, she was about a 100 miles from home!

She was found by a Nome resident who was out running her sled dog team. Gabby was trotting down the highway, headed straight for Nome...just 34 miles outside of Nome.

She is skinnier and was terribly thirsty and whines whenever her Spokesperson touches her swollen, hot foot pads...but, other than that, she is her same old obnoxious self! Of course she is MILKING it for all it is worth now...lying on the floor, wrapped around her Spokeswoman's feet...whining in "agony" whenever anyone makes the mistake of looking at her half-way sympathetically. Personally, I think they should have left her on the highway and made her trot the last 34 miles home!

She is just so inconsiderate! Leaving me to WORRY myself silly over her these last three days! She always has been so aggravating.

Mind you, she has gone AWOL three (THREE!) times this summer alone! And I've lost count on the number of times she has had brushes with the law up there. It's a wonder she hasn't been kicked out of Nome! Believe me, when I went up there to visit her last winter, I heard plenty of stories from the other dogs about her shananigans! But, then, she was always in trouble when she lived in the lower 48, too...so, it didn't much surprise me to hear that she has continued her delinquent ways up there, too.

When I first heard she had been found (at 11:14 tonight), I was grateful to all those sled dogs for rescuing her...but, the more I think about it, the more I am rethinking that whole sentiment!!!

My Sister...

2010-08-29T15:57:00.002-05:00

I have some very sad news. My litter-mate, Gabby, has been lost for three days now. She was last seen herding about 80 reindeer 38 miles from Nome, Alaska. Practically everyone in Nome has been trying to help find her, but there is a lot of wilderness out there and since it was nothing for her to run 50 or 60 miles in a day, there's no telling how far she went before deciding to cease herding those reindeer...and, unfortunately, she was already 38 miles out into the wilderness when she took up the chase.

We are just praying she finds her way back to Nome. The weather is nice this time of year and there is plenty of wild-life around for her to subsist on while traveling back home...

Me and Littlest Ninja

2010-08-29T07:43:00.001-05:00

More Memories of Nome

2010-02-22T20:02:00.002-06:00

I sure am missing Gabs. Life just isn't as spicy when she isn't around to spar with...

Fondly Sorting Through Photos of My Trip...

2010-02-19T19:39:00.002-06:00

Gabby in her Home Town

2010-01-29T09:22:00.007-06:00

My sister, Gabby, talking with her Spokeswoman on the streets of Nome, Alaska!

Some Nome Sled Dogs

2010-01-28T19:08:00.001-06:00

I'm back from Alaska and SO MANY stories to tell! I met some REAL sled dogs and found out they are really sweet...not at all like Gabs described them. I met an Eskimo named Dempsey who has been a musher all his life. He has over 40 dogs. He took my Spokeswoman for a very long run with his 16 fastest dogs (pictured here)! They sure do LOVE running! These 16 will run the Iditorod in 2011! Not many mushers are able to run 16 dogs at once like Dempsey does. His dogs are very well trained and work beautifully together. He spends many hours each day outside letting them run loose while he does his chores. He said that most mushers can't allow their dogs to all run loose like he does, but, none of his dogs are fighters...they stay close to the area he is working in and never stir up trouble! Part of the day they are chained next to their individual dog boxes, but, when it gets really cold, they have a dog barn that they all take shelter in together. My Spokeswoman had always felt sorry for the sled dogs she would see on such short chains, but, after spending time with Dempsey, she saw that his dogs are living full, happy lives. They LOVE to run and get so excited when they see Dempsey getting their harnesses out! He runs them five days a week. That is their favorite part of the day!

(In case you were wondering, it was 20 degrees BELOW zero F the day this picture was taken and MOST of the days we were in Nome. The coldest place we went, though, was Kotzebue...it was THIRTY-EIGHT DEGREES BELOW ZERO there! My paws got cold there!)

Delightfully Brisk Weather!

2010-01-08T08:58:00.006-06:00

The birds are looking a bit frosty this morning... Usually I prefer to eat them, but, they looked so cold this morning that I scattered my food for them, instead.

2010-01-07T14:32:00.000-06:00

I am loving this weather!...lots of blowing snow!!! Today, the Spokeswoman took me on an hour walk. It was great! We spent most of it walking through the drifts by the side of the road. Since it was so snowy and blustery, the Spokeswoman didn't stand on formalities insisting that I HEEL the whole way like she usually does...instead I got to dance and play in the snow! I LOVE sticking my nose to the ground and tunneling my whole body through the snow! I can't wait to get to ALASKA!!! This is going to GREAT!!! Just a bit over a week before I leave!!!

Getting ready for Nome...

2010-01-03T16:49:00.000-06:00

More snow! I love it!!! I can't wait to get on that plane to Alaska! I'll be seeing my sister, Gabby, up in Nome in just about two weeks now!

I Have My House Back!!!!I Have My Kennel Back!!!I Have My Ninjas Back!!!

2009-12-02T19:38:00.001-06:00

Yeah!!!! The little cat-dog moved out!!! She had been up running around for several days, so the Spokespeople decided she was recovered sufficiently to venture out to a new home. The Spokeswoman took her up to the local college and within 15 minutes there was a crowd of young people all dying to adopt her! One young couple even considered MOVING just so they could have her! She wound up going home with a young woman who had a six month old dog JUST LIKE HER (but black instead of brindle)...that pup is a Chug (Chihuahua/Pug mix) which is what everyone finally decided our little cat-dog must have been. Anyway, last I heard, the little cat-dog was thrilled with her new home. She's been trying really hard to keep up with her new little buddy, Titan. She doesn't have a name yet...her new family is waiting to get to know her personality better before they name her. (At our house, she had a total of about 30 different names...the middle Ninja renamed her at least three times a day!)

Definitely in Cahoots with the Evil SQUIRRELS...

2009-11-28T04:44:00.001-06:00

Jackal, nailed it!!! The little rat is working with the squirrels for sure!!!

I'm beginning to wonder if she is even a DOG! She is the size of a cat...and, this is the really weird part, she ACTS like a cat! She has never once barked. Been with us an entire week and hasn't been able to squeeze out one solitary squeak of a bark. Then, this morning, I saw her LICKING her entire body, cleaning herself. She even licked her paws and then rubbed them over her face!

My personal theory is that she is actually a very ugly cat trying to pass herself off as an injured dog in order to gain access to the interior of my Spokespeople's home. And, as perceptive Jackal guessed, her contact is the squirrel in our backyard who does have the eerie habit of approaching the patio door with shocking frequency. It is no coincidence that the little cat-dog connived the Spokeswoman into placing her pallet right there by the patio door, giving her a clear view of the entire backyard and the kitchen at the same time. Awww...such a crafty villain!!!

I got my hopes up yesterday. The Spokeswoman's job was taking her into the heart of an Amish community and she loaded the little trickster up in the car with her. She had all the little Ninjas say their farewells to the cat-dog because she said she was pretty sure she knew a family that would be delighted to have the evil little thing. (Well, she didn't say "evil little thing" exactly...she is a bit naiive and does not realize what a deceptive creature she has been beguiled by.) I was so RELIEVED and elated all day long...but, then, late last night, the Spokeswoman returned with the little rat tucked securely under her arm and moved the little princess rat from her car inverted top kennel half back to my larger inverted kennel top half...in front of the patio door once more. The little rat dog was very pleased with herself...wagging that little corkscrew tail of hers ninety to nothing. No telling what despiteful antics she pulled to keep the sweet Amish young ladies from taking her. Rotten little rat. SHE doesn't WANT to find a new home. SHE thinks she has already FOUND a home and she doesn't plan to budge. Thankfully, the SPOKESGUY has not fallen the least bit under her spell. He wants her out of the house ASAP. Smart man!!! He says we have three dogs already and that is two too many...very WISE man!!! He doesn't particularly like me, either...but, at least he REALLY does not like the little rat dog! And though he isn't fond of me, I am sure I would be his logical pick as an ONLY dog. Oh, how I would dearly love to be an ONLY dog and never more have to supervise the Psycho Border Collie and that Goofy Newfie. Ahhhh...to have the Ninjas ALL to myself!!!!

What a Hideous Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T07:53:00.001-06:00

Yes, you heard me right! HIDEOUS!!! All because of Mugsy. Mugsy, Pugsy, Shmugsy. I wish I had never rescued that little rat dog! I think I need to set down some SERIOUS boundaries! First of all, I am a Search and Rescue dog...not a Search and Rescue AND REHAB dog!!! If I am going to be saving folks, they have to do their part by DISAPPEARING after I have saved them. This is utterly RIDICULOUS.... SIX days ago I saved the little wretch and she STILL hasn't left.

Monday she took over MY kennel! Well, to be more exact, the TOP half of MY kennel (turned upside down). It is ridiculous...I have been reduced to sleeping in a DOG HOUSE, because the little PRINCESS is lounging about in MY kennel. Every morning, the Spokeswoman slides the open end of the kennel top against the patio door so that PRINCESS Mugsy can glare at me through the glass. I'm not one to hold a grudge, mind you, so I always bop up to the patio door to smile at her, just to be met by an ungrateful GROWL! The NERVE of that little rat!!! Not only does she take over my BED and get me delegated to the back yard with that Psychotic Border Collie and Goofy Newfie, but she won't even return a civil greeting when I try conversing with the conniving little rat.

I think she FAKED her X-rays! I don't think she REALLY has two broken hips. I think it is all an act to take over my family! The Ninjas dote on her. The Spokeswoman babies her. And everyone has totally FORGOTTEN about ME! The Spokeswoman hasn't even been taking me for tracking training. It is horrible. We are going to have to start from square one! I'm liable to LOSE all my skills with this pattern of never practicing...day after day after day. Next thing you know, the Spokeswoman will be laying tracks for that ratty little dog to follow...

Not Even Out of SAR School, And I've Already Accomplished My First Rescue!

2009-11-23T16:44:00.001-06:00

Well, Saturday morning I completed my first rescue! No...it wasn't an assigned mission. I just happened along at the right time. And it wasn't a person that I found, but a dog in distress! The Spokeswoman and I were out walking about 7am Saturday morning when I spotted a small, black head peeking out over the grass in the middle of a big field. There was an eight foot high fence around the field, but the bottom of the fence didn't come all the way to the ground. There is about a six inch gap between the bottom of the fence and the ground near that point in the field. The field is next to a very busy road. The Spokeswoman thought it odd that the little dog was just lying out there in the middle of the field...not making any move to come over to us, nor any move to run from us. Of course I sensed trouble immediately! I talked the Spokeswoman into going to the far corner of the fence, climbing through some heavy brush and finding us a way over the fence so we could go check on the little dog. Good thing we did, because the poor little dog had been hit by a car and had drug herself clear out to the middle of that field, even though both her back hips were shattered and part of her poor little tail was denuded. We took her to the vet and then on home with us to recouperate. The Spokeswoman put signs up all over town with her picture and she and the Oldest Ninja canvassed all the surrounding neighborhoods, going door to door with her photo looking for someone who recognized her. We even had it announced about her with morning announcements at all four of our town's schools. Seems no one ever saw her except for a fellow that saw her running around the golf course (near the field where we found her) the day before. So, we are pretty sure that it was between Friday evening and Saturday morning that she was hit by the car. And, it is really looking like she was dumped by someone on Friday and got hit by the car and left for dead sometime between then and Saturday morning. The Animal Control officer told us that since none of the surrounding towns have pounds, but ours does, people often bring dogs from out of town to dump within the city limits figuring that that way they will wind up at the pound (a dog from outside the city limits won't be accepted by the pound, if someone from out of town tries to bring it to the pound).

We are working on finding her a new home...in the meantime, she is mending at our house! She likes it a lot at our house! She's growing on us awfully fast, too! We think she is a puggle (pug/beagle mix). She is such a sweetie...extremely gentle and not a bit timid...and VERY quiet...and LOVES kids even more than I do, if you can believe that! She is a spunky, spirited, happy little dog! The vet says she is about two years old...and he thinks that after 4-6 weeks of bedrest, she will be up and walking just fine again.

Been Awfully Busy

2009-11-16T10:15:00.002-06:00

I haven't had much time for posting lately...way too busy studying tracking and other skills needed by a Search and Rescue dog. I spend several hours every day tracking now--in the light, in the dark, in sunny weather, in pouring rain (and soon, in Artic snow, as well, up in Nome, Alaska)!

I LOVE tracking! It is the one activity I get to LEAD the Spokeswoman in. I am totally the boss when it comes to tracking. There have been a few times lately when my Spokeswoman is dead certain the trail is one way when I KNEW it was actually another direction. She tried standing her ground and I just about yanked her right off her feet dragging her the CORRECT way! I was totally delighted when she finally realized she was wrong and I was right! I love it when the Spokeswoman has to eat crow!

I have always been a natural born air-scenter...but, these past couple of months I have discovered I am also an excellent ground tracker (read that and weep, Gabby, oh snooty sister of mine!). (Gabby was always rubbing in my face her exceptional tracking abilities...well, I have caught up to her and, combining my newly honed tracking skills with my natural born air scenting ability, I have PASSED her up! Eat my dust, Gabby!)

The Spokeswoman works with me every day, but I regularly receive professional training from a cop-dog trainer named Richard. I like Richard a lot. He has great ideas. Right off the bat, he insisted that I had to be a house-dog. He dictated and the Spokeswoman complied, instantly. I go weeks at a time now without ever stepping foot into the backyard. I never thought I would say this, but I have found myself actually missing the Psycho Border Collie and the Goofy Newfie...once,anyway... for about 6 seconds! It is pretty neat hanging out with the Ninjas all the time...going nearly everywhere the Spokeswoman goes. Part of my training is learning to LOVE strangers and seek them out, so, we go out and meet and greet as many people as possible. Our Walmart even lets me go shopping with the Spokeswoman, since I am training for SAR. I have been told that most likely, most of the cases I will be called upon to assist with, will be in locating elderly people who have become disoriented and wandered off, so I am going to be spending a lot of time visiting in a nearby nursing home to become extremely familiar with the scents and mannerisms of older folks. I am very accustomed to little people, but not so much with older people...but, that is changing!

Each evening, the Spokeswoman calls me up into her lap while she veg's in front of the TV. I shouldn't admit, this, but, I guess I do enjoy curling up in her lap...but the BEST is when I get to curl up in the Oldest Ninja's lap (on those rare times when the Spokeswoman will SHARE me). Last night, the Oldest Ninja fell asleep with me snuggled up in her lap....totally sweet!

So Much for Search and Rescue

2009-10-20T14:43:00.000-05:00

There are a few things my Spokeswoman and I completely agree on...well, ONE, anyway. Yappy little dogs with no manners annoy both of us.

I have begun formal classes in Search and Rescue now. They are led by two people who train a great number of the police K9 patrol dogs and HRD dogs in this area of the country. It is an hour's travel to get to the training facility. I commute to these very demanding classes in the new car, chauffered by the Spokeswoman. Recently, as we were returning home from one of my classes, I noticed the two little dogs who live across the street and three houses down from me running around in my next door neighbor's yard...marking the territory as theirs! I never go into the neighbor's yard. I know how rude that is. So, I was of course standing at attention in the back seat, ears erect, thinking very disapproving thoughts SILENTLY to myself...when, one of those little wretches looked up from his misbehaving and saw me in the car as the Spokeswoman pulled into our driveway. The little jerk had the AUDACITY to run BARKING at MY car in MY own driveway!

Now, mind you, these two little onion-heads have caused trouble repeatedly in our neighborhood. They are constantly running amuck and aren't under their handlers' control even when they are on LEASHES! A few weeks ago, the Spokeswoman was walking all three of us (Goofy Newfie, Psycho Border Collie, and myself) along with the two youngest Ninjas when we met these two noisy little onion-heads and their two handlers coming from the opposite direction. We ALWAYS walk against traffic and YIELD to the traffic. We walk in the street (all six of us) next to the gutter in compact formation--two Ninjas in lead followed by us three dogs and the Spokeswoman. The moment we see an approaching car we ALL promptly step up into the grass where the side walk would be had one ever been built and continue walking there until the car has passed. We do not use it as an occasion to wander through the MIDDLE of other people's yards and we certainly NEVER relieve ourselves in other people's grass. Well, not long ago, we had the misfortune of meeting the two little onion-heads while we were out on a walk. They weren't on the proper side of the street and they were way out INTO the street. Mind you, it is a pretty busy street. Anyway, there were cars approaching from both directions and in much practiced fashion, the two Ninjas veered off the pavement and into the grass without a word from the Spokeswoman...and the three of us, also veered into the grass, walking in tandem with the Spokeswoman. Meanwhile, the two little onion-heads and their handlers remain in the middle of the street, totally oblivious. The two onion heads are busy zig zagging about at the far end of their flexi leash and not even the handlers themselves had sense enough to step towards the side of the road. There the four of them were, in the middle of the road, holding up traffic from BOTH directions for several minutes as they tried to untangle their dogs' leashes and corral them. The whole scene just set my teeth on edge. Even if the handlers are clueless, the DOGS should have a bit of sense! But these two little onion heads don't. And, it didn't appear to bother them or their handlers that they were causing a major inconvenience to passing motorists...the fact that they didn't even have sense enough to be embarrassed made it all the more annoying!

Fast forward to a few days ago as the Spokeswoman and I returned home from my class. There were the two little onion heads across the street and three houses down from their own house, marking territory in my next door neighbor's yard. Then, spotting me in the vehicle, one of the little onion heads (the beagle looking one) ran at the car BARKING his little head off at me. The miniture pincher followed, but was not barking a challenge at me. There we were in our OWN driveway, being accosted by the little onion-head. I wanted to bark back, but I knew the Spokeswoman would correct me if I did, so I stood there, looking out the closed window, shaking with pent up aggravation, but enduring the insult quietly and outwardly calmly. To my utter SHOCK, rather than getting out and shooing the little onion head away, the Spokeswoman acted for all the world like she hadn't even noticed the commotion taking place right outside our car door. In fact, she matter of factly opened her door, stepped out, and promptly opened MY door! Well, that's all the permission giving I needed! I torpedoed out of our car and dove down on that little onion-head. It was quite a site. The little monster has such short little legs that he can't run worth a hoot...even under fear of imminent death with his adrenalin racing! He DID run for all he was worth, though. And I was right on top of him (literally) every step of the way. He was running as fast as he could to get away from me, but my front legs were on either side of him every step of the way and I was tucking my head down between my front legs to glower at him with each panicked running, frantic step. He was yelping like scalding water was being poured on him...little wimp! I didn't even open my mouth! I just chased the little onion head all the way back down the street and into his own back yard! His frantically churning little legs were so much shorter than mine, that I kept going right over the top of him (to his pure terror and the Spokeswoman's carefully veiled amusement). Anyway, I herded him right back to where he belonged and then turned on a dime and trotted back to my own yard. The miniture pincher had followed us...keeping a safe distance from me and keeping his own mouth shut, least I take notice of him, too! Anyway, it took me all of three seconds to return both the little onion heads to their OWN yard...a feat that would have required at least half an hour had their handlers undertaken it! I noticed that the Spokeswoman didn't get around to calling me back until my feet hit their yard...and, by then I was running so fast that I was in their backyard before I could skid to a stop and happily come to her call.

Obviously, their handlers were no where in ear shot. I would have thought the beagle's horrific yelping (all the way from our driveway to their backyard down the block) would have brought them racing out to rescue him, but, there was no sign of life from within their house. In fact, it was a full half hour before anyone got around to letting the two little onion heads back inside where they belong. But, I am happy to say, the two little onion heads spent that half hour POLITELY sitting on their OWN front porch. The beagle onion head did look over my direction and bark a couple of times, but he didn't set foot off his front porch to do it! I spent the next hour or so hanging out in my front yard watching to make sure those little onion heads stayed in their own yard. I think I managed to teach them in less than a minute what their handlers haven't been able to teach them in over a year!

In spite of the DRAMATIC SCREAMING of the beagle onion-head...making it sound like he was being ripped from limb to limb when I never so much as laid a tooth on him...just herded him back to his own yard...in spite of all the noise, I thought no one had witnessed what had transpired. Wrong. Today, the neighbor who lives next door to the two onion heads was laughing about a certain German Shepherd fixing a neighborhood problem. He said that the beagle onion head had come into his yard the last time he was mowing and had NIPPED him for mowing his own yard. He was rather delighted when he saw a certain German Shepherd putting the little onion head it its place for coming onto other people's property and acting out aggressively.

Neither of the little onion heads have been spotted out of their OWN yard since I took matters into hand! I overheard the Spokesowman admitting to the Spokesguy that she probably should not have opened my car door like that...since I am suppose to be learning to be ALWAYS be gentle (you know, search and RESCUE...not search and DESTROY!), even with onion-heands...but, she just had a weak moment. Hey!...I'm all for weak moments now and again! I wish she would have them more often!

2009-10-04T08:23:00.001-05:00

Life is grand! I was on duty away from home the entire day yesterday with the Spokespeople and the three Ninjas. There were LONG car rides (traveling in a caravan with two other vehicles) and a day of lounging on a lawn blanket listening to the Spokesguy's new band (bluegrass, of course)! My favorite part is that whenever the Oldest Ninja wants to get out on her own to explore and mingle in the crowd, the Spokeswoman always insists she takes me with her. The Spokeswoman is not nearly as trusting as the Oldest Ninja and she says she isn't comfortable with the Oldest Ninja being out of sight unless I am there with her! I love being on guard duty with the Oldest Ninja! She does a LOT more exploring than the old Spokespeople ever would, so I get a much better lay of the land when I am accompanying her!

OH! And I have unbelievably EXCELLENT, EXCITING news!!!... I am GOING TO ALASKA to visit MY SISTER in February! I will be staying with her an entire week! I was GOING to wait and come in July, but my sister explained that it is really much NICER in FEBRUARY. I thought it was 50 degrees below zero and dark round the clock in Nome in February, but Gabs assures me I am totally mistaken. She said February in Nome is balmy and bright. She says we'll lounge together on the beach and ride the waves and roll in the lush grass.... And she tells me all those tales of viscous roving packs of sled dogs is utter nonsense. She says the sled dogs are quite polite and ever so gentle when meeting strange, lone, stragglers such as myself. Ahhh...sounds like MY kind of vacation! I am so lucky my sister invited me up there!!! I can't wait for February!!!

She Calls...I Come!

2009-10-02T21:35:00.003-05:00

Still Around...

2009-09-18T21:38:00.003-05:00

It has been FOREVER since I last blogged! The Spokeswoman's computer died a hideous death, really cramping MY style. But, in spite of my mostly computerless status, my life has been very full and busy. I've been attending dog training classes every week. The Spokeswoman and I walk an average of 4 miles each day (often starting before dawn). Then, in the evenings the whole pack comes with us (including the two youngest Ninjas) for a more leisurely walk. I've accompanied the Spokespeople lots of places this summer...last week, we attended a performance of the Dan Tyminski band (the Spokesguy is old friends with two of the bandmembers) and this afternoon, we hung out on the town square to watch the Oldest Ninja's Homecoming parade. Oldest Ninja played the part of an pitifully entrapped Leprachaun on her class's float. She looked wrought such sympathy from the small children in the crowd that some of them were yelling at the football player to let her out of the cage and then they started throwing the candy they had gathered at the float trying to feed the pitiful, trapped, Leprachaun! I thoroughly enjoyed hanging out, watching the parade and watching the crowd. It was pretty much a perfect day! Oh...did I mention?...I ride around in the NEW car all the time now! Yup...I've established my claim on it!!!

Three is ALWAYS a Crowd!

2009-08-06T18:37:00.006-05:00

As I've always said, one is perfect...three is a crowd. Which is why I was disappointed this morning...

You see, whenever the Spokeswoman walks down to the creek, she always takes all three dogs...which is fine, that's the routine. BUT, when every few days when she wants to go down to the town square and make a wide loop through town (the really, really long walk), she just takes ME...no one else...well, sometimes the Littlest Ninja comes with her, especially if she has a piano lesson to go to, but none of the other dogs come along...just the Spokeswoman and I or the Spokeswoman, Littlest Ninja, and I...the way it SHOULD be. This morning, though, things got totally fouled up. The Spokeswoman must have gotten mixed up because she took the Goofy Newfie and the Half-Crazed Border Collie with us when we were going on the LONG walk...the four mile loop through town. Of course the Goofy Newfie was DRAGGING her paws pitifully half-way through the walk...lagging every time we needed to race across a busy intersection...totally aggravating! Meanwhile the Psycho Border Collie kept lurching ahead, trying to get in front of all of us. I, alone, did not deal the Spokeswoman any grief. Even though she had HUMILIATED me by putting the heinous PINCHER collar on me before we ever left the house. When it is just she and I going, I just wear a regular choker collar and, most of the time, no leash at all. I have become quite reliable at heeling off lead. So, it was bad enough to have a leash put on me, like I was some unmannered mutt...but, then to put the PINCHER collar on me...that was just totally unfair and uncalled for! As though I might get unruly with those other two renegades along! If you ask me, it is that sneaky, psychotic border collie that needs a pincher! I think I might get her one for Christmas!

My Show-off Sister!

2009-08-03T08:54:00.004-05:00

Yup...Gabs is at it again...showing out as usual. Today she e-mailed me this picture of her on HER new four-wheeler up in Alaska. She says she gets to run all over town with it! She is such a show-off...just because HER Spokespeople love HER enough to buy HER her own four-wheeler! I knew I should have stayed with Lisa and Iran instead of coming to live with the Ninjas. I could be up in Alaska, right now, driving around on my own four-wheeler, too! So many decisions in life that one comes to regret...

sigh

One of Our Walks...

2009-07-24T13:03:00.007-05:00

Well, the Spokeswoman finally brought the camera along with her on one of our recent walks to the creek. Most of the pictures are of Gloria and Rivendell, due to the unfortunate fact that the Spokeswoman always insists on being the one to walk me (so, I wasn't out in front with the Littlest Ninja and the Middle Ninja during the actual walk). The Spokeswoman tells the Ninjas that SHE has to be the one to walk me because I am "the most rambunctious"...but I know she just says that to spare Rivie and Gloria's feelings. I am obviously her FAVORITE. There is just no other explanation considering I am FAR BETTER TRAINED AND MUCH MORE OBEDIENT than either Gloria or Rivendell...and if anyone is too rambunctious to be handled by either of the Ninjas during a walk, it certainly is NOT me!!!

The Spokeswoman discovered something during this particular walk...How to get a picture of Gloria FACING the camera. Silly Gloria is terrified of the camera (and about everything else in life!), so getting a good photo of her has always been nigh on impossible. The Spokeswoman discovered, though, that, using a telephoto lens and having one of the Ninjas LEAD Gloria forward towards the distant camera works!

The trail is lined with Honey Suckle...and the Ninjas love pausing to pick the flowers and taste the nectar inside!

At the end of the trail is a muddy little creek. It isn't anything compared to the LAKE I LIKE swimming in, but it's still nice on a hot day! Gloria LOVES the water. So does Rivie. Gloria, however, is a very low energy dog. By the time we are heading back home (about a mile and a half away), it is hard to tell who is dragging the most...Gloria or the Middle Ninja (he wears out fast on walks, too!). This particular day, though, the Goofy Newfie scared us all to death. Just as we were starting back home, Gloria fell over sideways into the grass beside the path and didn't move. Her eyes stared blankly up. The Spokeswoman thought she had keeled over with a massive heart attack or stroke or something equally horrible. She came closer and closer and closer to Gloria. Gloria didn't move. But, then, with relief, the Spokeswoman saw that Gloria was at least still BREATHING. The Spokeswoman looked down at her with such grave concern. Gloria continued her blank, frozen stare upwards. It was horrible. Then, the Spokeswoman, furrowed her brow, and declared, "What on earth is WRONG with you, Gloria?" At the sound of her voice, Gloria remembered what it was she was planning on doing and unfroze and wriggled happily on her back, getting a good grass rub in! Stupid Gloria! There wasn't a thing in the world wrong with her other than her normal GOOFINESS! The last picture of this post is Gloria...all rigid and blank eyed, the split second before the Spokeswoman spoke...taken just about the moment it dawned on the Spokeswoman that the lazy Newfie was probably playing POSSUM...sure enough, raising the (dreaded!)camera to take her picture and the no-nonsense sound of the Spokeswoman's voice snapped her right out of it!

Dog Days of Summer

2009-07-20T08:37:00.006-05:00

I have been THOROUGHLY enjoying these summer days!!! Life has been pretty good since the Ninjas returned from Colorado. I entertained all of the Oldest Ninjas guests on the Fourth of July when they came to celebrate her fourteenth birthday with her...and then, six days later, I entertained all of the Middle Ninjas guests as they came to help him celebrate his eleventh birthday! It has been a very busy summer, for me! The two littler Ninjas have been taking the girls (Gloria and Rivie) and I on long walks nearly every day--often culminating in a romping good time playing down in the creek! Yesterday, the Middle Ninja and the Spokeswoman took the girls and I to the creek and we discovered there were lots of little boys wading knee deep in the creek, happily catching dozens and dozens of crawdads. I stuck my nose in the bucket just to make sure they weren't crawdads of the POISONOUS variety, before I allowed the Middle Ninja to join the hunt. It was a fun time...watching the boys dash after crawdads and entertaining them between catches. They were amazed when they saw how high I can jump and what a swift stick retriever I am! Several of them wanted to take me home with them! I couldn't disappoint Middle Ninja, like that, though...so I politely declined.

Several times in the past week, the Spokeswoman has taken myself and the Ninjas to the lake for the day. (Rivie doesn't get to go because she always throws up in the car--wimp! And Gloria doesn't get to come because she has an unrelenting body odor problem. No matter how often or thoroughly the Spokeswoman scrubs her down, the odor returns within a day or two...and it increases exponentially when she is WET. The Spokeswoman lets her swim in the creek because we WALK to and from the creek, but the LAKE is an entirely different matter because it requires a 35 minute car ride, one way.) Which is why I love the lake even more(!)...because I get all three of the Ninjas all to myself!

I am a masterful swimmer, but then, I am sure that comes as a surprise to no one, considering I have been in training with Ninjas most of my life now! I LOVE being out WAY, WAY over my head for very long periods at a time. The last time we were at the lake, I didn't spend any time at all on the shore and hardly any time in the shallow water. I happily circled the Spokeswoman and the Ninjas for hours on end as they swam. A common dog might ignorantly attempt to climb on top of their people when swimming out over their heads, but not me! I happily circle around my people, being careful never to get close enough to inadvertently slash them with my razor sharp Ninja claws!

I wanted a picture of myself swiftly, silently, slicing through the deep waters...but, the Spokeswoman has some lame aversion to taking her NEW camera out into the water, so no pictures of my swimming prowess to share today!

Actually, I wouldn't even be taking time to post, now, except the Oldest Ninja took me aside yesterday and was complaining that there was "never anything new to read on your blog, anymore". I tactfully explained to Oldest Ninja that, in great part, that was due to MY LACK OF A COMPUTER TO WRITE ON, YOU IDIOT!!! (You will all recall how the Oldest Ninja had a bizarre appearance of paranoid psychosis shortly after returning home from Colorado and ACCUSED ME of having gotten BACON GREASE between the keys of her precious, pristine, little netbook. We ALL know that it was RIVIE who got the bacon grease on her computer, not me! I always lick my paws clean in an almost cat-like manner before touching ANYONE'S computer...ALWAYS!!! But, the back-stabbing little Border Collie whispered malicious lies against me and poisoned the Oldest Ninjas heart. Since then, she has not let me ANYWHERE near her netbook and, as everyone knows, the SPOKESWOMAN'S notebook computer is just about totally shot. That computer is limping along so pathetically that I steer way clear of it. When it finally crashes for the last time, I don't want to be the one at the keypad!!! The Spokeswoman is NOT a reasonable sort, you know!!!

Oldest Ninja misses my inspiring writing so much, though, that she decided to grant me limited access to her little netbook, just so I would post again!

I REALLY need a PICTURE to go with this post, though...so, I think once Oldest Ninja wakes up (maybe by noon if I am lucky!), I will see if she will sneak the Spokeswoman's camera out and take some action shots of me so I will have a fresh illustration to spice up this post!

HELLOmy name is NINJA

2009-07-06T22:53:00.005-05:00

Well, I'm glad to see that Oldest Ninja realizes that, indeed, IS her name! She says she got this shirt in MY honor!!!

A Fantastic Fourth!

2009-07-05T19:10:00.006-05:00

Well, I had an EXCELLENT Fourth of July, yesterday! It was the Oldest Ninja's fourteenth birthday, so we had LOTS of company in and out all day long. I got to help entertain her party guests while they were in the backyard hanging out and, later, when they moved to the front yard, the Littlest Ninja sprang me from the backyard so I could still hang with them! She then, inexplicably ABANDONED me, though...climbing up a tree and nesting there! But, fortunately, her little friend from across the street was there to help me keep my vigil over the Older Ninja and her friends!

Later in the evening, we all went to the local college (where the Spokesguy teaches). They always have a huge celebration with lots booths and live music and a huge fireworks display at the end of the evening. I LOVED it there. Littlest Ninja took me all over the place, and everywhere we went, people stopped to pet me and talk to me and FEED ME!!! There were a lot of people too full to eat the last third of their hamburgers!!! I was on my very best behavior. I never pulled on the lead once as Littlest Ninja steered me through the crowds! And, whenever a little person came up and wanted to pet me, I automatically went into a "down" so I wouldn't forget and bounce around while they pet me! At first the Spokeswoman was telling me each time, "Down", but, I'm a quick learner and soon saw the pattern...tiny kid approaching means LAY DOWN!!! So, I just started doing it automatically without even being told! There were LOTS of little bitty kids running around and ALL of them wanted to pet me! The Spokeswoman was a bit surprised that there were so many two and three year olds with no apparent parent in sight...but, then, it is a small town we live in...parents don't hover quite so closely to their kids here (even if the Spokespeople still treat the Ninjas, even the FOURTEEN year old, like they still live in a large metropolitan area).

I've never seen fireworks before. (I was just born June 15th of last year.) They were quite intriguing. The noise didn't bother me a bit, of course, but the fireworks were SO CLOSE that they filled the entire sky and looked for all the world like they were going to rain sparks right down upon us! The Spokeswoman says that last year they had ash falling on them from the fireworks! Rivie went last year and though she doesn't mind the noise either, she DID NOT LIKE the VISUAL aspect of sparks coming so close to her. She told me she was GLAD they didn't take her this year!

At first, I thought we were in danger and I ought to be clearing everyone out of there, but the Ninjas were all relaxed and laughing and sitting there quite unworried, so, I soon figured out that it was probably safe enough! Unlike Rivie, I was FASCINATED by the closeness of those fireworks. I couldn't tear my eyes away from them! I laid there with my ears pricked forward and my eyes GLUED to the action. It was pretty exciting! I spent the rest of the night laying out on the patio, instead of in my doghouse, trying to catch sight of a few more fireworks in the sky!

Breaking My Silence!

2009-07-03T17:07:00.007-05:00

Let me set all the rumors to rest...1) The Psychotic Border Collie did NOT finally do me in! 2) I did not pack up and move to Australia!

The reason I have been so quiet these past few weeks is solely because my access to the internet has been sorely curtailed! The Oldest Ninja has taken to LOCKING her computer up in the large footlocker she has in her room (something about bacon grease!). She has been away in Tennessee for a week now...her computer going to waste, locked away, unused as it is! Meanwhile, the Spokeswoman's computer has been dying a slow and painful death and is hardly worth turning on, if you ask me!

Life has been proceeding pleasantly. I have particularly enjoyed outings to the lake. A few days ago, Dexter met me there and we spent the entire evening swimming and romping among the waves!

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY TO EVERYONE!!!

(The Fourth will also be the Oldest Ninja's fourteenth birthday. She has big plans and should get back home just in time to see to all of them!)

Stabbed in the Back

2009-06-20T06:12:00.007-05:00

Okay. This just ISN'T right!!! I am the GOOD dog. I am the RESPONSIBLE dog. I am the SANE dog in this family. I am suppose to be the FAVORITE dog!!! It just isn't right that I am being shunned by the Oldest Ninja. Doesn't she KNOW what a sneaky little rat that psychotic Border Collie is?

I was peeking in the window today (part of my duty as Senior Security officer) and THIS is what I saw!!! That conniving little Border Collie schmoozing up to MY Oldest Ninja. She even has MY quacking toy sheep at her feet! I was wondering who's been getting my toys all slobbery! (And SPEAKING of quacking...now I am beginning to suspect what happened to the quacker in my BRAND NEW BIRTHDAY DUCK. I bet that sneaky little Border Collie STOLE the quacker out of my BRAND NEW BIRTHDAY DUCK!!!)

Just look at that little creep...all smug that SHE is right there sharing a recliner with the Oldest Ninja, cruising the internet with her on HER COMPUTER...the computer that she won't let me within a football field's length of!!! It is SO UNFAIR. That slimy little Border Collie got just as much bacon grease on her computer as I did...and I had to do all the CLEAN-UP...but that double crossing little Border Collie went and stabbed me in the back...telling the Ninja that it was me, alone, who was messing around on her computer while she was away.

Life is SO UNFAIR!

(I wonder if I could go live with the sweet Sitter Girl? SHE loved me! SHE brushed me out EVERY day. SHE spent HOURS each day playing with ME. SHE deserves me so much more than the Oldest Ninja does!)

Things Are Lookin' Bleak...

2009-06-19T07:09:00.004-05:00

Whoa...this is serious! EVEN the OLDEST NINJA is turning against me! You think I'm exaggerating? Just read her belated comment to my May 31st post! (click here) I think it's all because of that bacon grease on her computer--rotten rattin' Border Collie!!!

Life is Getting Back to Normal...

2009-06-18T16:51:00.003-05:00

Well, the Sitter Girl is gone...(sigh)...and life is getting pretty well back to normal. I was in HUGE trouble when the Spokespeople got home and found I had been having wild parties in their absence and had trashed the house...and eaten all the bacon. Even the Oldest Ninja was aggravated with me. Guess I didn't get quite all the bacon grease off her computer...either that, or the psychotic Border Collie ratted me out. Even my flying duck has quit it's frantic quacking. Guess I wore the battery out!

And it is stifling hot. I keep thinking SOMEBODY will have SENSE ENOUGH to take me to the LAKE to SWIM....but, no. Stupid Spokespeople...no sense at all!!!

At least they have FINALLY let me back in the house where I can enjoy a bit of air-conditioning and sneak onto the computer when they leave the room!

A Really NOISY Duck!!!

2009-06-15T07:30:00.002-05:00

Would you BELIEVE it? With all the patrolling the Border Collie and I have done through the house, we never found the MOTHER LODE. That's because the Sitter Girl had it next door at HER house! She brought it all over bright and early this morning in a big box and proceeded to unpack it right in our living room AFTER she INVITED me in! She explained that the Ninjas and the Spokespeople had given her that box with instructions that she was not to bring it over until MY BIRTHDAY!!! Inside was a decent assortment of dog treats. Not as good a package of bacon, but, at least the Spokespeople TRIED...it is the THOUGHT that counts, you know!

And, this is the good part!!!, there was a little duck that has a motion detector and goes into spasms of panicked quacking every time is it moved the least little bit. Quite appealing!!! I love to just sit there and stare at it until it has finished it's paroxym of quacking, then nudge it ever so slightly with my nose to start it squawking afresh! Best of all, the Ninjas tied a rope around its neck so it can be swung through the air just like my beloved flying rabbit! Nothing is better than a toy soaring five feet off the ground!!! I just love jumping after my toys!!!!

Sitter Girl promised me she will swing my duck for me once we get back outside!!!

Now, I am trying to decide if I should just gulp down ALL(!) my treats before the Sitter Girl puts me back outside, or if I should take them outside with me to share with the pushy Border Collie and the bottomless pit Goofy Newfie....hmmmm.....

"Yup, Sitter Girl, I'm ONE year old TODAY!!!"

(Sitter Girl's mother has a camera...wish I had KNOWN that about FIVE DAYS AGO!!!)

Party, Party, Party!!!

2009-06-12T07:24:00.003-05:00

Whoo-hooo, life with Sitter Girl is great! Especially since we have the Goofy Newfie to distract her. The Sitter Girl is obsessed with "drawing" the Goofy Newfie "out of her shell". Whatever! Evidentally she doesn't realize that the Goofy Newfie is mostly a recluse and LIKES spending 9/10's of her day hiding in the back recesses of her oversized dog house. A dog is what a dog is. Some dogs, like myself, are brilliant and outgoing and energetic...whereas, some dogs, like the Goofy Newfie, are shy, retiring, and scared of their own shadow. She's happy that way. She doesn't WANT to change. But, I'm glad the Sitter Girl hasn't caught on yet, because it is working out quite well for the Maniacal Border Collie and myself!

Every day, while has her head and half her body stuck in the doghouse, trying to coax Gloria from its depths, the Border Collie and myself slip into the house. There is a LOT more inside to take inventory of than just the Oldest Ninja's computer! We have bigger fish to fry!!! We spent hours yesterday inventoring the pantry and the refrigerator. The Collie and I decided it is our duty as ranking Security officers in this household to make sure that ALL the foodstuffs are SAFE for consumption. To that end, we have been sampling each and every item!!! The bacon in the refrigerator was extra suspicious, so we ate it all, just to be safe. Wouldn't want to leave any tainted food laying around for the Ninjas to accidentally injest! (Everyone knows that a canine stomach is far superior to a little Ninja's stomach. We have stomachs of iron and can withstand all manner of poison with hardly any ill effects! And, believe you me, that bacon was pure poison!!!)

The Collie suggested we plan our own bash for my birthday (as many of you, my cyberfriends, have also proposed!)! I think that, considering the circumstances, that is the only thing I can do!!! We don't have any bacon left, but there are still a few edibles left in the pantry and we have decided to save those back for my birthday.

So, EVERYONE is invited! Just head from the Square on towards town, but hang a quick right at the fencepost that smells like a noisy lab. Continue on past the streetlamp that smells like an obnoxious dauschaund. Just before you get to the busy highway, hang another quick right. Sneak past the really, really tall dog's house (cause he likes to jump his fence and challenge you). When you get to the tree that smells a small beagle, turn left. When you come to a really beligerant dauschaund tied to it's front porch, you cross the street and that's my house!!! Just woof at the privacy gate and we'll let you in!!!!

Hope everyone can make it Monday, June 15th!!!

(Ummm...if the Sitter Girl is in sight, just hang back until she disappears into Gloria's doghouse!)

(Sorry there are no current pictures. The selfish Spokeswoman took the camera with her. Between duties in the refrigerator and pantry, I've been looking through the Ninja's computer for interesting photos, but mostly, she just has pictures of herself and her friends on her computer! ....By the way, does anyone know of a good way to get bacon grease out from between the keys of a computer? I licked the screen clean, but I'm having a bit of trouble with the grooves between the keys...)

Having Fun with the Oldest Ninja's Computer!!!

2009-06-11T06:32:00.002-05:00

Whoo-hoo! This is the life!!! The Sitter Girl has been treating me way, way better than my regular people ever have!!! Not only that, but she isn't real observant. While she was distracted trying to coax the cowardly goofy newfie out of her doghouse today, the bonkers border collie and I slipped into the house! I was able to locate Oldest Ninja's computer easy peasy!!! I can just imagine her face when she gets back and finds pawprints all over her precious computer:

They Left Without Me...But This Isn't Turning Out So Bad, After All!!!

2009-06-10T06:23:00.003-05:00

Okay, I was wrong on my conclusion that I would be going to Colorado with the Spokespeople and the Ninjas. BUT, the GOOD news is that they've hired one of the Ninjas' friends to stay with me!!!! And she REALLY likes ME a LOT!!! She thinks it is terrible that the Spokespeople left us dogs behind and she has made it her mission to make it up to us! Staying home might not be so bad afterall!!!

I'm sensing a real potential to MILK more attention than usual out of this situation!

(The Oldest Ninja left her tiny notebook computer behind and I know where she keeps in her room, so I might be able to sneak in and use it...but, then again, I might be too busy being comforted by the Sitter Girl to do too much posting over this next week!)

Revelation

2009-06-08T05:59:00.002-05:00

Hmmm...for some reason, the Spokeswoman and the Littlest Ninja BATHED all three of us. I've been puzzling over this development and I think I may have it figured out... She must be planning on taking US with her to Colorado!!! There is only seating for five in that stinkin' new car of hers, so, the way I have it figured, she is going to leave the three Ninjas behind and take US with her and the Spokesguy to Colorado!!! I'm cleaning my doghouse out so that the Ninjas will be comfortable!

(Since I featured Rivie yesterday, today I made all of GLORIA'S pictures extra large! It is tough getting pictures of Gloria. She LOVES baths, but she is TERRIFIED of the camera. She thinks if she refuses to LOOK at the dreaded camera, it will DISAPPEAR! Ummmm...just one more reason she is referred to as the Goofy Newfie! ...Amazing how much the Goofy Newfie and the Crazy Collie look alike when you don't have any size reference availabe! The Crazy Collie stares straight into the camera, though, whereas the Goofy Newfie avoids looking at the camera at all costs! )

Featuring Rivendell...

2009-06-07T08:08:00.008-05:00

Well, I have to admit, my backyard charges HAVE been trying to help lift my spirits. They don't get the whole "birthday" concept, but they do get that I have been wearing sadness like a mantle. They try to be good buddies. I can see that. And, their efforts HAVE given me moments of reprieve from the weight of my sadness. So, I thought I would feature Rivie in this post. She was delighted to pose for photographs and I think I caught a little of her personality in them!

This is Rivie on alert: (I'll give her credit, she IS on alert 99% of her waking moments. She IS a pretty good watch dog. And she CAN run REALLY fast when we are in pursuit of a trespassor! She gets low to the ground and streaks like a black bullet at her unsuspecting target. She is great at darting in from behind, LOW to the ground under the radar! Me? I prefer to let my enemy see me coming and to quake in fear at my size and the deepness of my growl, but, Rivie ALWAYS attacks in STEALTH mode from behind...and ONLY after a lengthy head-low-to-the-ground-STARE! Her targets never know she is coming until they feel her teeth sinking into their nasty heels! And then she darts back out again! The little rat NEVER stands her ground...just goes for sneak attacks and runs! I will give her credit, though, she is relentless with her darting in and out...she always comes back in for a second or third nip! Her attacks are more like mosquito, bites, though. I mean, she has never even broken skin! I keep telling her, "You need to SINK your teeth in DEEP and hang on...then shake your head vigorously to rip a little muscle!", but she's just a Border Collie, what can I say?!)

This is Rivie looking GUILTY: (She has many, many, many reasons to look guilty!!! Believe me, she is one SNEAKY pup! Don't misunderstand...she never FEELS guilty, she just cops the LOOK for the sake of the domineering Spokeswoman!)

And, finally we have Rivie contemplating flipping over into mild psychosis: (She never flips without thoroughly PLANNING it out in advance! Her flavor of psychosis is always diabolically PURPOSEFUL!)

It's Always Fun to Learn a New Trick!!!

2009-06-06T05:24:00.001-05:00

Whoo-hoo! I learned a new trick!!! I learned how to make the pictures on my blog BIGGER than Blogger's three choices of "small", "medium", or "large"! Now I can be EXTRA Large!!!

(I wonder, though, if getting my pictures this large messes up the view some folks have of my blog? I have a widescreen monitor and it looks fine on my screen...but, if it is chopped up on your screen, would you let me know?! Thanks!)

Sad Revalation

2009-06-05T05:44:00.002-05:00

Now that I have been in the blogosphere for a while, I have read of all sorts of elaborate birthday celebrations that dogs are given by their people. Not quite being one year old yet, I have not gotten to enjoy such a celebration yet...but I was so looking forward to it. It's been so much fun anticipating what flavor of cake my Spokeswoman might be planning for me...and ICE CREAM CAKE from DAIRY QUEEN?! And what sorts of party favors there would be...BEGGIN' STRIPS? And WHO I would get to invite over?!!! I was counting down the days until my FIRST BIRTHDAY. (just ten short days away!!!...June 15th!!!)

Imagine my devastation and the utter depths of my despair when the Spokeswoman recently mentioned so casually (oh the cruelty!) that the Spokespeople and the Ninjas are leaving for Colorado and won't be back (gasp) until June 17th. Did she not REMEMBER my birthday is the 15th???????....my very FIRST birthday??????

I probably won't even have a computer to reach out to my cyber friends on. I'm sure the Selfish Spokeswoman will take the laptop with HER. She won't take ME...but heaven forbid she leave the precious LAPTOP behind. Heaven Forbid she SHARE the laptop with ME on MY BIRTHDAY...

I was so utterly crushed that I actually bore my heart to the psychotic Border Collie and the goofie Newfie. Now you KNOW I was beaten down to stoop THAT low! Did EITHER of them offer me one iota of sympathy? No! They both just looked stupidly at me like they had never even HEARD of birthdays. Turns out neither of them even KNOWS what THEIR birth date is! Can you believe it?! No dog in this family has EVER had any acknowledgment of their birthday...in fact, they don't even KNOW what day THEIR birthdays are!!! Have you ever heard of anything so sad?

My heart is dragging on the ground. It would be bad enough if my birthday were just passed as any other day of the year, but, I won't even get THAT. I'll be alone. Utterly alone and forgotten on my very first birthday. No Ninjas. No mean Spokespeople.

...and no one even seems to notice how dejected...forgotten...alone...I am feeling. They all keep smiling obliviously...and that is the worst part of it all.

My BEST Impression

2009-06-04T06:31:00.007-05:00

...of the Half-Crazed Border Collie!

My skills are utterly amazing! I never cease to astound even myself with the depth and breadth of my talents! I bet no one else could have ever captured the Half-Crazed Border Collie look as BELIEVABLY as I did in this photo-shoot! I should have my own weekly TV show!

Wow!!!...looks so REAL it's almost SCARY, isn't it?!

Me with the Staff...

2009-06-03T05:11:00.004-05:00

Yup...it is a truly sorry crew, but you got to work with what you have on hand! I am responsible for keeping the Psychotic Border Collie (Rivendell) from going KUJO...and I am responsible for keeping the Goofie Newfie (Delusional Gloria) from climbing up into laps and crushing unsuspecting people. I thought I would get a picture of me with my crew for my blog, but the Overgrown Oaf of a Newfie made it almost an impossible task. Besides being utterly delusional, she is also TERRIFIED of everything in the world...including sitting still two seconds to have her picture taken! Finally, the Spokeswoman gave up and called out the Oldest Ninja to help. By the time we FINALLY got this picture (with the Oldest Ninja HOLDING the delusional scaredy-cat in place), the Half-Crazed Border Collie was thinking SHE might be in trouble, so her ears were plastered tightly against her head. I, no surprise, was the only dog looking regal, alert, and happy. Like I said, the other two just don't give me much to work with here!!!

Yes, We REALLY Do Eat That Much Food!

2009-06-02T11:50:00.004-05:00

Some of my friends expressed surprise at the amount of food the Littlest Ninja was delivering to us (in the last post). I just wanted to say, we really do need that big a pan. In the winter we empty it out daily. In the summer we eat about 2/3's of it each day. There are THREE of us, afterall! And the Big Oaf eats like a horse. (I think the Big Lazy Oaf is a Newfie mix, but she might be a Chow mix...who knows. Like every other dog our Spokeswoman has ever owned (except me), she is a rescue dog...plucked from the litter of a stray that was herself rescued just days before having her pups. The mother was a smallish dog and looked like a blue-heeler/shepherd mix. But Big Oaf, I mean GLORIA, didn't look anything like her mother, or like any of the other pups in the litter, for that matter. She was literally twice the size of all the other pups and was the only one that was long-haired and coal black. The mother and all the other pups were vigilant and aggressive...but Gloria was a laid back, slow moving, affable, lovable, couch potato, even then, who's only care in life was to seek out the next tummy rub. She hasn't changed much. She's just gotten about 100 pounds heavier, is all. But, even at that, she's not particularly overwieght...most of that is HAIR. She never seems to shed...just grows more and more hair.)

Before my time here, the other dogs (including my pal Shanachie who died last winter at the ripe age of 16 and a half) used to live on forty acres of heavily wooded land. They ran and ran and ran...roaming the full forty acres and hunting every day. They were all skinny back then. After they moved to town (not quite two years ago) the Big Oaf pretty well retired to her dog house (we seldom see her out in the yard) and the Half-crazed Border Collie put on a bit of weight. She was a bit out of shape when I joined the pack...but, I fixed that in short order! I put that Border Collie back to work. At first she was busy herding me and bossing me about, but, these days, I do the bossing and I keep her busy racing the fence line helping me guard our home from intruding squirrels, possums, birds, and wandering dogs. The squirrels keep us the busiest! She is fit and trim once more! So, we haven't had to weather having our food rationed. As long as we are running off whatever we eat, the Spokeswoman lets us eat as much as we want, whenever we want.

As to the Delusional Newfie mix (delusional because she THINKS she is a little lap dog!...She plops down in any and every available lap, every chance she gets, even in the Littlest Ninja's lap! She just doesn't comprehend that she is HUGE and NO ONE WANTS HER IN THEIR LAPS!)...anyway, as to the Delusional Dog, she probably could do with less food, but she has always been this size...even back in the days that Shanachie and Rivie (the half-crazed Border Collie) ran her legs off hunting the 40 acres...she was just born BIG.

While we are talking about FOOD, I have a question for everyone. The Half-crazed Border Collie tells me that before I came along, everyone got chicken bones all the time. The Spokeswoman's childhood dog (a small cocker-spaniel mix) lived to the ripe old age of 16 and a half eating chicken bones on an almost daily basis...as did my buddy, Shanachie (the golden/shepherd mix that was boss when I first joined the pack). Shanachie, too, lived to be sixteen and a half with never any problems from chicken bone consumption. The Delusional Newfie and the Half-Crazed Border Collie have been holding it against me that they no longer feast on chicken bones. I guess the Spokeswoman started withholding the chicken bones from every one after I joined the pack ten months ago. Does any one have any opinions on this matter?

They Are Taking All the Joy Out of Life

2009-06-01T20:33:00.003-05:00

I hate it when the Ninjas get together and start sharing secrets with each other! The Oldest Ninja has gone and ruined all my fun... Used to be, whenever the Littlest Ninja came out, I would leap for joy all around her in frantic tight circles. Occasionally I got so excited I would jump clear over her! But, I NEVER jumped ON her, cause I learned early on that THAT would get me in LOTS of trouble with the grumpy Spokespeople.

It sure was a lot of fun leaping circles AROUND everyone, though, and THAT didn't get me into trouble...at least not with the SPOKESPEOPLE. The Oldest Ninja has a bit of the Spokeswoman in her, sometimes, though, and SHE decided early on that it was unacceptable for me to even leap happy circles AROUND her. Kill joy. She never said anything to the Spokespeople, she just took matters into her own hands...with a secret weapon that the Spokespeople would have never thought of.

It was bad enough that the Oldest Ninja ruined my fun with her, but, recently when the Littlest Ninja came out to feed the Half-Crazed Border Collie, the Lazy Newfie, and myself, I discovered, to my utter dismay, that Oldest Ninja had shared her secret weapon with Littlest Ninja. Yup...there was Littlest Ninja carrying a GROCERY SACK. The mere SIGHT of a GROCERY SACK sends all three of us scurrying for the cover of our dog houses! Afterall, Oldest Ninja whips the sack around in the wind and it makes a terrible commotion...most unsettling if you are right there in mid-jump and a scary white sack goes whipping through the wind right next to your face. We all three give a wide berth to all Grocery Sacks even if they AREN'T currently whipping through the wind. When the Spokespeople found out what the Ninjas have been doing to discourage our leaping around them, they just shrugged their shoulders and said, "Well, I hope no BURGLERS show up armed with dreaded GROCERY SACKS!!!"

You see what abuse we have to endure here? It was bad enough when the Oldest Ninja was ruining my fun, but now even the sweet Littlest Ninja has joined in. Every time she brings out a pan-full of food for us, there is that horrid sack hanging off her arm, tauntingly swaying in the breeze, filling us with dread and driving us away. It is so unfair. It's been so long since I've gotten to knock the pan of food out of Little Ninja's grasp with my exuberant display of joyous leaps. I fear the Spokeswoman is finally tainting even my sweet Ninjas with her stingy, kill joy ways...

On Duty

2009-05-31T21:47:00.004-05:00

In the past (back in the days when I had wheels and would always ride shotgun), I used to ALWAYS accompany the Spokeswoman whenever she was going to be working at the office alone after dark. I wondered if those days were over since I've lost my wheels. Tonight I found out....

The Spokeswoman called me out of the backyard and we WALKED all the way to the town square where her office is. Like always, we entered through the back door in the alley. I was glad to see that she still knows she needs a security officer with her when she is walking through that dark building! She worked for a couple of hours while I rested nearby. Then, when we were ready to go, I ran ahead to the backdoor so she decided to be sneaky and slipped back into one of the empty offices and hid. I sniffed her out in no time at all. She forgets I have a terrific nose and can track her down in moments! We had a nice walk back home. I'm glad my Spokeswoman still has some good sense in SOME areas!

ONLY in Alaska!!!

2009-05-31T04:46:00.010-05:00

Do you ever see a picture on the net that you just HAVE to snag? Well, when I saw THIS picture on Gabby's Spokewoman's blog I just HAD to SNAG it! It's a picture that Gabby's Spokesguy snapped...

Only in ALASKA do the reindeer think they are dogs!!!

(Oops! Only AFTER I had already stolen this picture and posted it on my blog did I see that my sister, Gabs, had already posted it on HER blog, too! Oh well! Maybe she will forgive me for stealing her Spokesperson's photo!!! Or maybe she won't...and then at least I'll HEAR from her! These days, she hardly ever even bothers to drop by anymore, even here in cyberspace, even just to insult me... It is depressing. Maybe stealing her thunder will get her attention!!! Even as insufferable as she's always been in person, I still miss her terribly...)

***********************************************************************************************************************************************

And since I am shamelessly stealing other people's material, anyway, here are two photos I snagged off MY Spokeswoman's blog...

These are pictures of the Oldest Ninja. She just had her Eighth Grade Graduation last week and now she is officially a high school student. That worries me a bit...she is so eager to leave here and strike out on her own...

I guess I need to have a serious heart to heart with her and make sure she understands that if SHE blows this cookie joint, I'm going with her!!!

You're ON my HOT TAIL!

2009-05-29T23:29:00.005-05:00

Well, the Littlest Ninja continues with her life-long talent for creative use of the English language! A few days ago I overheard her as she was playing a game of trouble with her Grandmother, exclaim, "You're on my hot tail!" (I think she was meaning her grandmother was hot on her trail!...though maybe she meant just what she said...I've certainly experienced a pesky flea or two on my hot tail many a summer day!)

Then, tonight, she informed the Spokesguy that she was watching BOTH her sister's soccer game and the game in the adjacent field. The Spokesguy asked her skeptically, "How can you watch BOTH of them at the same time?" She answered (as though it was QUITE obvious), "Well, I have TWO eye-balls!" ......duh!

Earlier in the evening, the Littlest Ninja had approached the Spokesguy with a solemn face and gravely asked him, "Do caterpillars have BONES?"

A few days ago, the Middle Ninja was persistently reminding the lazy Spokeswoman for the forty billioneth time of his DESPERATE need for a haircut. Ever helpful, the Spokesguy jumped in and suggested to the Spokeswoman, "Why don't YOU just cut it rather than taking him in to have it cut." The Spokeswoman has been cutting the Spokesguy's hair for over 18 years because he refuses to go the barbershop, so, it probably was a reasonable suggestion. The Middle Ninja, though EAGER to get his hair cut was utterly appalled at the Spokesguy's suggestion and instantly protested loudly, "No!" Perplexed, the Middle Ninja's grandmother jumped into the conversation and asked, "Wouldn't you like your MOMMY to cut your hair?" The Middle Ninja glanced towards the Spokeswoman and then, looking solemnly at the Spokesguy replied in horror, "No. I be bald!" Guess he has it figured out...the Spokesguy's hair wouldn't be thinning if that Spokeswoman wasn't the one cutting it every month!

The Sun is Shining Once More!!!

2009-05-26T21:15:00.003-05:00

Joy! Joy! Joy! Tonight was dog class and THE SPOKESWOMAN TOOK ME THERE!!! I thought for sure I would never make it to another dog class ever again since they ditched my wheels, but, amazingly, the Spokesguy actually let me ride in HIS VAN!!! I didn't get to ride SHOT-GUN. That was a bit disappointing. And the Spokeswoman made me sit on a tarp. That was a bit humiliating and totally unnecessary. But, the important thing is I didn't miss my class!!!!! Whooo-hoooo!!!! I've never been so glad to get to class!

Here I am at dog class...early, as usual! In our family we count it as LATE if we aren't the FIRST to arrive!

The Spokeswoman packs my long-line, tempting toys, and treats in my bag. We use a lot of different equipment during class. It's always a fun night out!

When we got home from dog class, the Littlest Ninja ran out in her jammies to meet us! She decided she needed to give me a few lessons herself, so, we had a second session of dog class! She's a lot more fun to have class with than the Spokeswoman because she likes it when I free-style!

Fourth Day without My Wheels...

2009-05-25T17:10:00.001-05:00

Doomed to be a Dog School Drop-Out

2009-05-23T14:45:00.002-05:00

The longer the day has worn on, the more I have come to realize the dire implications of my current situation. Having lost my wheels will, undoubtably have life-long implications for me. How can I finish obedience school if I have no way of getting there? It is devastating. It is heart-wrenching. It is all so terribly unfair! I am destined to be a dog school drop-out...ME...living in a family headed by a college professor, no less. Yet, ironically enough, they valued MY EDUCATION so little that they traded my car in and left me ride-less...all alone...to languish in my ignorance. sigh...

Aw-Oh...

2009-05-22T22:28:00.002-05:00

I have a really bad feelin' that I'm in trouble. The air conditioner went out on the Spokeswoman's rattle-trap (my sedan) for the FIFTH time in a year and a half. This last time it went out, she put her foot down and refused to have it "fixed", saying it was suppose to have been fixed the previous four times they spent a small fortune on it. At first, I thought this was a really terrific thing...meant the windows were always down and I could hang my head out! But, something horrible happened tonight... The Spokeswoman drove home in a strange car. My car is GONE! Making it even worse, the strange car is brand stinking new. The first brand new car either of the Spokespeople have bought in over TWENTY-SIX years. I see the writing on the wall. No one is going to let me NEAR the new car. And the Spokesguy has never let me in the van. So, now, I am thoroughly depressed. It is horrible to be a dog without any wheels! I don't know what I am going to do. Maybe find a distant corner and howl mournfully the rest of the night!

The Problem with Ninjas

2009-05-21T14:35:00.008-05:00

Don't get me wrong...I think Ninjas are terrific and I love them to pieces, but that isn't to say they are always a bundle of joy to live with. The problem first became apparent when I was eight months old (uhm, that would be three whole months ago!). I had finally come to the realization that I was faster and stronger than those tough, wiry little Ninjas, soooo....it was only reasonable that I assume command. Afterall, I was born to be the leader! I was the leader in my litter. And, even at the tender age of 3 weeks, I already had decided not to take any guff off the breeder (that would be Gabby's Spokeswoman). I remember she was always sticking her face in mine wanting kisses. Most annoying! Finally, by the time I was three weeks old, my eyes were open, my legs were stronger, and I alone (of all the litter) had found my snarl. While the other pups, like Gabby and Vader complied with her insatiable need for kisses, I, alone, stood my ground. As her face loomed nearer mine, I took up the challenge and curled my lip at her and growled to give her fair warning. She was too dense to comprehend, so I had to BITE her, rather hard, I'm afraid, right on the NOSE. Believe me, she gave me a bit more respect and a lot more distance after that!

From the time we were born, my aggravating Spokeswoman had had a brother of mine picked out to take home for herself...an easy going, eager to please, very affectionate pup that had very dark markings similar to mine. I felt sorry for him, getting stuck with such an obnoxious woman, but, then one day, soon after all the other pups had been assigned homes, I overheard her and the breeder talking and to my utter horror, I realized they were talking about ME. The obnoxious Spokeswoman had decided to let my brother (her original pick) go to another home and had decided to take ME instead...acting all gallant about it, citing how I would be "more difficult" to find a good match for because of my "aggression/dominance issues". Idiot! Didn't she know that I was BORN for security work?...aggression and dominance are extremely VALUABLE traits!!!

So, it was my misfortune to be brought to the Spokeswoman's home. Fortunately, there were three little Ninjas there to soften the blow of my ill-fortune. But, even THAT silver cloud, it would later turn out, had a rusty lining. But, I am getting ahead of my sad tale!

I learned early to humor the humorless Spokeswoman. I am discerning enough to quickly recognize which battles are worth fighting and which are not. THAT surprised the pessimistic Spokeswoman. She had envisioned quite a war with me...but, I sized her up pretty quickly as being obnoxiously stubborn and just decided if she was that all fired set on being the "boss", let her have the title. I also surprised her by being an extremely QUICK learner. She was content. I, for the most part, settled into my fate without wasting my energy on regret. It helped that the little Ninjas were there. I LIKED them! Who knew, they, too, would wind up cramping my style?

Fast forward to three months ago. By then, I had grown faster and stronger than any of the little Ninjas and I KNEW it. The little Ninjas were great for the most part, but, on occasion they were a little ill mannered...particularly when it came to always grabbing stuff right out of my mouth! I'd be minding my own business chewing an a toy or eating some delicious tidbit and next thing I'd know, there'd be little fingers prying my mouth open to steal what I had! I put up with it for the first six months or so, but, finally, one day, I realized that I just couldn't wait any longer for the oblivious Spokeswoman to get around to teaching her little Ninjas good manners. The job was going to fall to me. So, I proceeded to do just that. The next time the littlest Ninja got in my face and proceeded to STEAL my chew bone RIGHT OUT OF MY MOUTH, I simply curled my lips up menacingly and snarled. Oh my goodness! You would have thought I had suddenly turned rabid or something the way that clueless Spokeswoman of mine came UNHINGED! She flew across the room faster than I've ever since that fat, old body of her's move, and the next thing I knew, my fur was flying and I was seeing stars and littlest Ninja was given MY chew bone! Littlest Ninja tried to give it back to me. Well, I wasn't about to fall for THAT trick! I turned my head away from the bone and did my best to keep away from it. Finally, Littlest Ninja talked me into taking it back. I was just beginning to relax and chew on it again when I heard the evil Spokeswoman whisper to Littlest Ninja, "Okay, Honey, take it from her again!" Well, I KNEW this was a TOTAL SET-UP!!! The moment Littlest Ninja's hand started reaching towards that bone, I dropped it like a hot potato and turned my head totally away from it so the Psychotic Spokeswoman would not be able to frame me!

Ever since that the Sadistic Spokeswoman has regularly instructed the Ninjas to take this, that, and the other thing out of my mouth...food, sticks, toys, ANYTHING I have shown the least interest in KEEPING FOR MYSELF. It is so unfair!!! Of course, I have never ONCE, ever so much as let my lip twitch at one of the Ninjas for ANYTHING since that one horrific experience.
The Spokeswoman has crippled me in other ways, too. I used to charge every stranger, no matter how big or small, young or old they were, and threaten to eat them alive. I was quite impressive! Did the lunatic Spokeswoman appreciate how impressive I was? She did not!!! She made me practice over and over and over and over until she had dulled every warrior instinct in me. I am not allowed to growl at anyone. It is almost like she has carved my soul right out of me. Honestly, THIS blog is the only place where the old me still reigns triumphant. If you met me in real life, I am afraid you would be sorely disappointed in my mild disposition. It is sad.
I'm so "friendly" now, that the Spokeswoman barely even bothers to look up when strange children come running up to pet me. She trusts me implicitly to be gentle and friendly. I tried explaining to her once that I was BORN to be a SECURITY dog. I'd even be happy just to be a JUNKYARD DOG. She just smiled at me and said, "Ransom, I want you to train for Search and Rescue work--and you can't hardly tear apart the person you just tracked down--that would defeat the point, wouldn't it?" I guess I am resigned to my fate.

Which brings up to the other day when the two littler Ninjas, their cousin Annika, Cleo, and I went to the lake. Strange little people ran out to me to pet me and I was sweet and FRIENDLY (just like the Spokeswoman is forever harping for me to be). Then, Cleo and I found a wondrous treasure! Cleo let ME have it! I was just settling down to CHEW on the delicious fish skeleton, when I caught sight of the Littlest Ninja off in the distance excitedly running towards me, calling, "What do you have, Ransom?" I sat there for a moment and weighed my options. If I growled at her, the Spokeswoman would kill me right there on the spot. If I DIDN'T growl at her, she would STEAL my wondrous find. I could OUTRUN her...but, the Spokeswoman would surely call me back the minute I got very far away and then I'd have to turn right around, so that wouldn't do me any good. Then, the only possible solution dawned upon me. I would APPEAL to the Spokeswoman's ego by acknowledging her authority and appeal to her SENSE OF EMPATHY by SHOWING her my pitiful plight! So, I gathered up my treasure just as the Littlest Ninja was almost in reach and DASHED straight to the Spokeswoman! I sat down beside her, holding my treasure in my mouth and looked imploringly into her eyes. I was WILLING her to reign her Littlest Ninja in and not let her STEAL my wondrous treasure! I wasn't even using my hypnosis skills...I was just appealing straight to her heart. Except, I forgot the cold Spokeswoman DOESN'T HAVE A HEART!!! She glanced down at my soul-full deep brown eyes and said, "I don't think you should eat that, Ransom!" And in the blink of an eye, there was my wondrous treat sailing through the air, far out into the lake. I swam after it! I swam and I swam and I swam, searching the water in vain...but, alas, the wondrous treat had sank beneath the brown waters and I could not find it.

COMPANY is Here!!!

2009-05-15T21:53:00.005-05:00

Late last night the Ninjas' cousin, Annika, came to visit them and her dog, Cleo, came to visit ME!!! We have had fun chewing on each other's necks and chasing through the yard, but we didn't have much fun at the park today... Of all the grave injustices ever experience, ours, surely, ranked at the top... WE (poor, dear, sweet, Cleo and I) were SHACKLED to a tree and not allowed to swim with the swans! But, and this is the most injurious fact of all, Annika, the Middle Ninja, and the Littlest Ninja GOT to swim with the swans! How do you like that? WE are told we cannot swim where the swans are swimming, but THEY get to jump right in! Incredible. Cleo and I just sat there shackled brutally to that tree, shaking our heads in sorrowful disbelief. Then, making it even worse, CLEO'S Spokesperson came and led her away from the tree and I was left utterly ALONE, FORGOTTEN, FORSAKEN. I had almost despaired completely, when sweet little Annika came to sit with me through my torturous confinement. She fed me pieces of grass, shells of nuts, and even a small twig or two. She loved on me and shared secrets with me. She was the one bright moment in an otherwise disappointing visit to the park!

My Photo Shoot(May There NEVER Be Another One!)

2009-05-15T06:37:00.010-05:00

Well, I WOULD HAVE posted YESTERDAY, but I was just too EXHAUSTED after my Spokeswoman got through with me. I swear, I am about ready to make a flying leap for her throat and grab that new camera of hers and swim it straight out to the middle of the lake and happily watch it SINK!!!

Yesterday, the Spokeswoman is all nicey nice...."Come with me to the park, Ransom! We can take a few photos! It will be fun!!!" Few? HAH! What she really meant, was come be my captive model for the next HOUR while I bore you to death snapping photos of you.

Did we go for one single, solitary WALK? No--unless you count moving from one scenic spot to the next (I don't!)! Did I get to RUN? No. Swim? No. Sample a nice, fat, sassy goose? Definitely, NO. This has to be the most boring trip to the park in HISTORY!!!

But, the Spokeswoman was clueless. "Smile!" she called brightly, oblivious to my agony. Then she went on and on and on and on about all the amazing features of her camera. Yuck! (Here are a handful of the photos she took...untouched up, just the raw unedited images. She did compress the files so I could get them to load onto Blogger, but she didn't do any editing with the computer at all. Believe me, I know. That is all she talked about, "Look! Ransom!!! I don't even have to use the computer now to get cool effects! I can do it all right when I am shooting!" Yeah, yeah, yeah. It takes so little to please her.

2009-05-13T19:19:00.003-05:00

2009-05-13T19:18:00.000-05:00

Wow...who knew that hypnotizing was so exhausting?!

Well, I didn't get any ice cream, BUT, while I was waiting at the school for the Ninjas to get out, I was able to hypnotize the Spokeswoman into taking us to the PARK again...and that is a close second to ice cream!

However, once at the park, I wasn't able to hypnotize the Ninjas and the Spokeswoman sufficiently to look the other way while I made a meal of a swan, a goose, or a duck or two. That was terribly disappointing. I have not given up, though. I realize that I am still a GROWING PUP and so, most likely, my mutant powers have not yet been fully realized. I am confident that in another month or two everyone will helplessly fall to my every hypnotic suggestion!

Mutant Ransom

2009-05-13T07:20:00.001-05:00

Do I look like an X-Dog???
Do I look like an X-Dog???
Do I?!
Do I?!

My mutant power is HYPNOSIS!!!

(You are thinking Ransom is VERY BEAUTIFUL,
You are thinking Ransom is HIGHLY INTELLIGENT,
You are thinking Ransom is the MOST COURAGEOUS dog ever!!!
You are thinking, I want to give Ransom LOTS OF ICE CREAM!!!)

I'm practicing for when the Spokeswoman gets home!!!

I Took the Ninjas to the Park

2009-05-12T17:41:00.005-05:00

(Towards the end of our excursion in the park, I used a little known Kung Fu move and zipped away from the Littlest Ninja. I ran straight for the lake where two newcomer swans were getting a bit too friendly with the Middle Ninja--much less reserved than our old white swans. I dove headlong into the lake and swam furiously after the lead swan. I was just going to explain the FINER POINTS of park ETIQUETTE to those two swans, but the Spokeswoman started spaz-ing out and hyperventilating on shore, so, I had to turn around in the middle of the lake (just when I almost had a mouthful of one of them!) and swim back to shore. I swear, I think the Spokeswoman was about to jump in the lake after me. I KNEW she meant business, because she wasn't even taking pictures anymore. Some people are just overly excitable...and CRABBY. )

Whoo-hoooo!!!

2009-05-12T14:26:00.005-05:00

The often annoying Spokeswoman got a new camera! She didn't think she would have a replacement THIS soon, but her mother stepped in and loaned her the money for one...which is really good, because she had discovered to her surprise that she is a bit of a camera snob. The oldest Ninja had graciously loaned her HER camera and the Spokeswoman's mother had let her use HER camera. With each, the Spokeswoman just didn't have the heart to take more than a couple of photos. They just were not what she had been accustomed to with her beloved Panasonic FZ-30. She tried to just get another FZ-30, but, it seems the model has been discontinued. So, she thought she would buy a used one. No luck. There were NONE to be found on E-bay or anywhere else. People who have an FZ-30 just don't have any reason to give them up!

In the end, she moved up to an SLR. She hadn't had one of those since going digital. Let me tell you, she is way too pleased with her new Olympus SLR! I wouldn't be getting any attention at all if I weren't so photogenic! She let me have a couple of her trial pics (still learning to operate the camera) for my blog. I cropped in on my eyes and the my buddy's (the half-crazed Border Collie's) eyes at 220% magnification just to show how sweet the clarity of the new camera it. Rivie saw what I was doing and got all excited at seeing such a close-up of HER eyes. She's always telling me that SHE was part NINJA before she ever even joined up with our Ninjas. She's always going on and on about what beautiful almond shaped eyes she has. I swear, sometimes she can be almost as bad as my vain sister, Gabby!

Expanding My Taste to Include Literary Works

2009-05-09T07:45:00.003-05:00

My dog buddies all seem to have their priorities in line! Yes!...I did find my food pan and Oldest Ninja is back to feeding us as always! (The food pan had food in it that had gotten really yucky--all swollen and soggy--but that wasn't a problem. The half-crazed Border collie and the Lazy-as-all-get-out Newfoundland gobbled it all down while I was gone checking the damage in the front yard and accompanying the Spokeswoman on her rounds, so I got a pan of fresh, crispy food! The Spokeswoman told me she had planned on trashing the soaked food, but those greedy-guts I live with had already snarfed it all down! Hah! Joke was on them!!!

The Spokesguy spent a great deal of time yesterday evening clearing blown leaves and debris out of the roof gutters. He was using books to adjust his ladder and left them out when he came in for supper. I found them quite tasty! I thought I looked rather scholarly running through the backyard with an open book grasped in my jaws! It was a lot of fun until the Spokeswoman spotted me out the French doors. She is such a stingy, selfish soul. The Spokesguy shares neat things with me only to have the Spokeswoman yank them away from me. I've noticed that in life...how OPPOSITES attract. Have you? If you ever see two married humans and one is really sweet, patient, generous, and kind--almost invariable he/she is matched up with a much less likeable soul! At least that is how it is in our household...one mean one and one sweet one...one loud one and one quiet one...one pushy one and one unassuming one.

Any ideas how I could get the Spokesguy to dump the Spokeswoman? I don't know why he is so bonded to her. It remains one of the burdens I must bear.

15 Minute Midwest Hurricane

2009-05-08T17:09:00.002-05:00

We had exciting weather today! Water was coming down in sheets and then, suddenly straight line winds came in and drove the sheets of water horizontal! Trees and branches came down all over the place. In fifteen minutes flat the water rose to a depth of five and a half inches deep across both of our patios. My food pan floated away and the water level rose above my old water pan! As soon as the ferocity of the torrential downpour eased just a bit, I was out inspecting the damage with a borrowed camera! Our next door neighbor's tool shed really took a beating and wound up upended against the back of their fence.

Stolen

2009-05-05T21:41:00.003-05:00

Well, there won't be any more photos for a long, long time. The Spokeswoman's camera was stolen today. The Spokesguy took it to the University where he teaches and someone stole it right out of his office. He should have let me ACCOMPANY him! I would have kept whoever's sticky fingers stole it from getting anywhere near it!

The sad part is that in the camera bag were NINE SD cards (18 gigs) of family photos that had not yet been burned to CDs or DVDs. Pretty much an entire year of family photos lost...the Ninjas' birthday parties, the oldest Ninja's track meets and soccer games, vacation photos, all the photos of the Spokeswoman and her friends and her mother and aunt at a recent weekend conference, and almost all the photos of me from the day I was born last June through yesterday, and just the every day goofy photos that get taken and mean so much.

2009-05-04T21:17:00.003-05:00

Okay...I'm posting these only because my sister felt compelled to post photos of HER recently developed ear tuft! I think it is a birthmark. It just looks like a light spot where someone rubbed the color off my ear when you are looking DOWN on it, but when you catch it in profile it looks like a ball of fuzz sitting on my ear! My brother has one just like it on his same ear (though his isn't as obvious since the rest of his ear is that same color)...and now even GABBY matches us!!! It took moving to Alaska for hers to grow, but, she has finally caught up with the rest of the litter! She always was a late bloomer!

It is weird how just that one little spot grows such LONG fur. Gabby used to make fun of it and tell me I should SHAVE it. Wonder if she will shave HERS?! Knowing her and her Spokeswoman, they probably will! I think it is hilarious that SHE has one now...after all the snide comments she's made about mine in the past! I rather LIKE mine...it is unique! (Well, my brother and sister have it, too, but other than that, it is unique!) Neither of our parents had it....hmmmm.....

Guess I'll be staying amongst the Living, afterall!

2009-05-03T21:47:00.002-05:00

Well, I am thoroughly recovered from my brush with death!!! Thank you so much for all of you out there who poured out encouragement and sympathy on my behalf!

I spent most of the evening reading my sister's blog. The little weasel is actually turning into quite the blogger now that she is living an exciting life in Alaska! The coolest part is that in the week since she arrived in Alaska, she has grown a long fur tuft on her right ear, just like mine and our brother's! She was always such a little snoot about how she didn't have a "hideous coyote" tuft like mine and now she's grown one, too!!!! There is justice in this world, after all!!! (Since she has such light colored ears, her tuft doesn't show up nearly as well as mine. My ears are dark, so the light brown spot of extra LONG, thick fur REALLY shows up well on MY ear! I'm rather proud of my tuft!) I see she posted a close-up of it in her blog...I'll have to dig through my old photos and see if I can find a close-up of MY tuft...if so, I will post it here later...and if not, I'll just get the obnoxious Spokeswoman to take a picture of it for me. She's been a bit more attentive since my illness!

Probably Dying...and no one cares...

2009-04-30T10:02:00.003-05:00

I think I've contracted the Swine Flu. It's my Hispanic heritage coming back to haunt me...leaving me vulnerable, when I least expected it. All morning long, my intestines have been snorting and snuffling and gurgling and growling like an entire herd of pigs greedily slogging through an oversized bucket of slop. My intestines have been so loud that the Spokeswoman even suggested I might be more comfortable in ANOTHER room...any room other than the one she was currently occupying. I know it isn't a pleasant sound, but she doesn't have to be that easily made queasy. How does she think I feel? It's MY intestines warring away in there!

I live with such an unsympathetic Spokeswoman. Here I am dying and her only remark was, "Ransom, I wish you would quit eating rotten moles." I'm dying and not only is she not mourning her imminent loss of the best security officer this home has ever had, she is insulting my cooking! Maybe if SHE would cook for me once in a while, I wouldn't have to scavenge together my own creative meals!

Awards!

2009-04-28T12:00:00.002-05:00

I would like to thank the TN Bull Terriers for these awards!:

This blog invests and believes in the PROXIMITY - nearness in space, time and relationships. These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement! Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers! Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this clever-written text into the body of their award.

As a dedication for those who love blogging activity and love to encourage friendships through blogging. To seek the reason why we all love blogging. Put the award in one post as soon as you receive it. Don’t forget to mention the person who gives you the award. Answer the Award’s question by writing the reason why you love blogging. Tag and distribute the Award to as many people as you like.

I would like to pass these awards on to each and every one who stops by here to check on what I am up to!

As to why I love blogging...it allows me a forum to vent my frustrations. Afterall, as head of security, I must be ever cordial to the other dogs and I must maintain a constant attitude of loyalty, attentiveness, and prompt obedience when with the Spokeswoman or the small Ninjas. So, it is a breath of fresh air to have one platform from which I can totally be myself...this blog!

Rainy Days and Mondays

2009-04-27T11:37:00.004-05:00

It is a rainy, rainy day today...but the greens are so beautiful and the mud is delightfully squishy! Strange...the half-crazed Border Collie and the delusional Newfie keep muttering that they had more grass back here before I joined them. I think they are just jealous that I am such a diligent sentry...always racing back and forth from one corner of the yard to another making sure there isn't anything dangerous about to crawl under our fence or fly over it!

The Littlest Ninja had everyone chuckling the other day...there was Celtic program on the radio. After about the third fiddle tune in a row, the Littlest Ninja looked up and asked, "And...WHY are we listening...to LEPRECHAUN SONGS?"

Oh...and my sister, Gabs, made it safely to Nome. Yesterday she called to let me know she was having a blast jumping through snow-drifts that are deeper than her Spokeswoman is tall...all in her own yard! She promises to post photos on her blog as soon as her Spokespeople get their internet access hooked up!

Three's a Crowd

2009-04-24T09:35:00.002-05:00

Well, I have discovered that my obnoxious sister, Gabby, can be as irritating from afar as she is up close! She has been making nasty comments about me on our brother's blog. I think I'm going to quit writing to HER MAJESTY!

I am LOVIN' this warm weather! I had been having fun going to the park with the Spokeswoman. I was even beginning to like her a little. But, she blew it yesterday! Instead of just taking ME to the park, she loaded the overgrown Newfie and the half-crazed Border Collie into the car, TOO, and took all three of us to the park. I thought she and I had an understanding. I thought she was finally learning to be LOYAL to me. I am still reeling from this unexpected turn of events. I see I have a LOT MORE work ahead before she will be reliably trained!

MUD

2009-04-22T18:50:00.005-05:00

My sister Gabby is en route to Alaska! I've been enjoying following her travelogue on her blog the last few days! Today, she told me she was gazing out at snow covered mountains! Me? I was watching over the little Ninjas. They got a little muddy, but thoroughly enjoyed their day! Hanging out with the Ninjas has almost helped keep me from sinking into complete and utter despair over Gabs' departure. (I mean I'll ADMIT, I didn't want her living in MY backyard...but, moving to ALASKA is a bit extreme. I already miss her wearing on my nerves...)

And the DRAMA Begins!

2009-04-16T10:12:00.006-05:00

Yup.... We all KNEW my sister Gabs would pull SOMETHING at the last moment to try and get out of going to Alaska...but, even I am shocked at the lengths she has gone to. Late last night she evidently bribed a snake into biting her on the face. She had her Spokesperson worried sick...staying up all through the night to make sure she was still breathing. Gabs, of course, milked it for all it was worth. She made hideous gurgling sounds as she swallowed, refused to drink any water, feigned confusion, and was uncharacteristically lethargic. She had her Spokeswoman near hysteria. Gab's eye nearly swelled shut and her entire face swelled up like a furry watermelon. She was a HIDEOUS sight.

However, she is back on the mend this morning. The swelling has gone down significantly and she is back to being her old neurotically hyperactive tail-chasing self.

Personally, I think she BRIBED that snake to bite her. That girl will do anything to try and get Vader or I to let her stay with us, instead of boarding that plane for Alaska. Vader TRIED a second time to let her stay with him, but she just wears him out. She blab blab blabs all day and all night. And she is constantly wanting to rough-house. I mean, rough-housing is great fun, but EVENTUALLY you have to stop and take a nap or something! Not Gabs...she never knows when to stop. I think she lacks the maturity gene.

Poor girl...I do feel sorry for her getting booted off to Alaska like that...but she brought it on herself. Her brother really DID consider REPEATEDLY letting her bunk up with him for the next two years, but she just couldn't behave herself. She is CONSTANTLY stirring up trouble. When she's around, she gets everyone else into all sorts of trouble. Worse, she has the habit of causing the trouble and then stepping back and letting her HOST or HOSTESS get stuck with all the blame! She is a master at leaving someone else holding the bag. She is GOOD...I'm tellin' ya! So, just let her disappear in Alaska where there isn't anyone around but HER to take the blame for the trouble she stirs up...that's what I say!

I really hope that poor snake is okay. I shudder to think what lengths Gabby might have gone to in order to purposely provoke him to bite her. Poor snake!

Since I don't have a picture of either the snake or Gabby's presently mis-shapen face, I had to do the best I could... from what I've heard, this picture is pretty close to what Gabby looks like about now:

CONTEST!!!Guess the GABBY GOOGLE password!!!

2009-04-15T07:40:00.004-05:00

A package of dog treats will be mailed to the first dog to guess Gabby's google password! For any of you who have not read the more recent comments, Gabby has forgotten her google password...for the THIRD time. It is simple. So simple that I bet someone here, today, will GUESS gabby's google password. Just leave your guesses in the comment section. I will mail a bag of dog treats to the first person to guess correctly. (Multiple guesses are allowed!)

Please...help Gabby out! Guess her password for her!!! Help her break into her google account!!!! (We won't tell you her private e-mail address...that would be TMI!...so, don't worry...even if you DO guess her password, you still won't be able to post as her!)

They Think THEY Can Blog?

2009-04-14T06:00:00.001-05:00

Well, I've been blogging for almost two months now. Now my brother and sister have decided they, too, have literary ability and have begun writing their own blogs. They always have followed me around like lost puppies. Whatever I do, they are soon copying me. You should have heard them whining and begging me to help them get their blogs set up. I almost didn't do it for them. I mean, you know and I know what a waste of time it is. There is no way either one of them will stick with this long enough to justify all the sweat and tears I put into fixing the blogs up for them and trying to teach them how to post. Well...we'll see how long they stick with it. I give them a month...two months, tops!

(Can you even IMAGINE my brother, VADER, blogging? I mean, really, just LOOK at him (the dopey one with his tongue dragging the ground)! Does he really look capable of even forming complete sentences?...nope, I don't think so, either! And then you have Miss Gabby, Princess-of-all-that-breathes. She's so busy constantly posing (even when there isn't a camera for miles around) and admiring her own reflection in her water bowl that SHE'LL never find the time to post!)

Some Things are just downright UNDIGNIFIED!

2009-04-13T17:45:00.004-05:00

Okay, up to this point I haven't had much in the way of gripes against the Spokesguy. He pretty much minds his own business and leaves me alone (if only the Spokeswoman would follow his example!). But, last night he crossed the line. Evidently he and the Spokeswoman had been watching a show about wigs for pets....during the commercial break, he runs to the door, calls me in, and proceeds to PUT A LONG BLONDE WIG on me. As you can see, I was NOT impressed. Whoever heard of a MEXICAN-CHINESE Shepherd sporting BLONDE hair...it is absolutely ridiculous!

Who do they think I am?...Hannah Montana?! This just was WRONG on so many different levels! How can I be taken seriously as Head of Security if I'm seen in long blonde tresses?!

Hmmmm...as I look at these pictures now, though, I realize that the wig really makes me look like an Afgan. I'll have to tuck that piece of knowledge in my memory bank...who knows, I might NEED to look like an Afgan someday. You know, if I need to go undercover or something!

Latest Gossip

2009-04-12T21:40:00.005-05:00

Well, I thought that even though Mom and Dad went their separate ways, their hearts would still remain true. So, I was a little shocked when I dropped in on Dad Saturday and found out he and an acquaintance of mine are running around together these days. My goodness, she's barely a year older than I am. A little too young for Dad, if you ask me...but then, no one has. My Spokeswoman seemed to know all about it. Again this habit of hers of not INFORMING me in advance of important matters is really getting very annoying!

Evidently, this "Duchess" is going to have a litter of pups--half siblings to me and my other eight brothers and sisters.

I've included a picture of "Duchess" and Dad here with this post.

On a personal front, I may not be able to post more than a couple of times a week for a while now, because the Spokeswoman has really ramped up my training. In addition to Advanced Beginner Obedience classes once a week with the Spokeswoman, I am also going to begin working with a retired police officer from the K9 unit. He is going to give me one on one training for search and rescue work. The Spokeswoman and Gab's Spokeswoman have worked with Gabs and I some on tracking, but now I'm moving up to more professional instruction! I must admit, I have a bit of trepidation about this. And, any of you who know me, know that trepidation is not something I am accustomed to experiencing. But, truthfully, Gabs (oh how I hate to admit this) has a lot more natural talent when it comes to ground scenting that I do. I can't understand how SHE could be so much better at this than I am. It's just so unnatural and upsetting for me not to excel far past Gabby at something. I'm better than her at EVERYTHING else...it is just feels like such an aberration to have her outperform me at this...it BUGS me!...it leaves me questioning who I am. It keeps me up at nights. I'm thinking, though, with private tutoring from a professional (from the guy that spent years training police K9s) I should progress past snooty little Miss Gabs in no time at all....hopefully. If not, I don't know what I will do. I may have to develop a helpful defense mechanism like suppression and just put the whole painful experience far out my mind so that it does not hang like a cloud of doom propelling me into failure at every other turn in my life.

More Than One Way to Get Inside on a Muddy Day

2009-04-10T09:08:00.006-05:00

Raining, raining, raining. The good thing about rain is that I can get all MUDDY!!! The bad thing about rain is that if I'm all muddy, the persnickety Spokeswoman won't let me in the house.

Case in point: Stupid Spokeswoman didn't REALIZE it was misting out this morning when she let me in the house. She figured it out pretty quickly though, the moment I shook my coat out, showering her precious computer with a bazillion droplets! I was just getting warmed up for a really GOOD shake as she grabbed my collar and unceremoniously THREW me out the back door.

However, I am smart enough to get back IN the house!...I just waited until a police siren began sounding and then stood at alert attention (within sight of the backdoor) and did NOT initiate a wailing contest between Rivie and myself. (Rivie isn't imaginative enough to wail on her own...she just does it if I lead the way...which I ALWAYS do, even though we invariably get into trouble from the Noise Police Spokeswoman we are both saddled with.) This morning, though, I just stood there silently...allowing a perfectly good siren to go unaccompanied. The obnoxious Spokeswoman was pleasantly amazed at my new found self-control...so much so, that she let me in the backdoor even though I was caked in mud! She toweled me off and now I am lounging about in the family room wondering which lovely photo of me would best fit the mood of this post...

I think maybe THIS one...

They say a picture is worth a thousand words...well, this snapshot tells you all you need to know about my ultra-demanding Spokeswoman. She has to control EVERYTHING...and she isn't any too patient in the process... You've all seen the beautiful photos of myself, Gabs, and Vader taken yesterday, but what you DIDN'T see is the torment we were put through BEFORE those photos were taken. The domineering Spokeswoman was so busy bossing all the people and dogs around that it is a wonder any of us were able to smile for the photos afterwards. You guys will never know how trying it is to stay by her side. But, I am a loyal dog...no matter what she dishes out, I weather it and remain faithful...that's just who I am.

*************************************************************************************

Oh, and I almost forgot to mention the excitement we had last night. The tornado sirens were wailing...sounding so close that it sent chills down my spine. Next thing I know, the Spokesguy has all the little Ninjas drug out of bed and gathered into the bathtub with pillows over the heads and the Spokeswoman drug us out of our dog houses and paraded us through the house and out into the garage. She let all three of us climb into the car, cracked the windows, and left. We were a bit confused. Being brought to the car, we thought we were going to get to go for a ride, but she just left us there by ourselves! I got into the driver's seat and honked the horn by sitting on the steering wheel (I like to do that when she leaves me alone in the car), but she ignored my summons. I REALLY need to work on her social skills! We never did figure out what her plan was. We finally just all gave up, curled up, and went to sleep. I was right in the middle of leaping ten feet into the air and NABBING that INSOLENT SQUIRREL when the intrusive Spokeswoman woke me up and drug us all out of the car, back through the house, and out the back door again. I don't know what that was all about. So irritating. First she doesn't even take us on a car ride and then, just as we have all gotten cozy and are happily dreaming, she flips on all the lights and yanks us out of bed. I hear she does that to the Ninjas ALL THE TIME. Talk about IRRITATING!!!

Day Trip!

2009-04-09T21:32:00.007-05:00

Well, Gabs has done it again! This makes, what, the seventh time in the last couple of months that Gabs has been kicked to the curb. Her spokesperson has thrown her out so many times I've lost count...her Spokesperson's twin sister threw her out (that would be Vader's Spokeswoman)...her Spokeswoman's GRANDMOTHER threw her out...her Spokeswoman's mother threw her out...and I am way too smart to be duped into taking her in! So, needing a place to hang until she leaves for Alaska on April 20th, she weaseled her way back into Vader's backyard (our lame-brain brother who doesn't have sense enough to JUST SAY NO!) Those pictures of him with his tongue hanging out goofily sideways?...well, those are pretty indicative of what is upstairs!

And, Yes...that WOULD be the same brother that doesn't even bother to come visit me when his PEOPLE come. But, I am above holding petty grudges, so, I took a day trip down today (in the rain, no less!) just to see my dear brother and my manipulative sister. And, since we seldom all three get together, we had a few portraits made! We wish Dad would have been here, too...but he wasn't able to get a day off from work to come down. At least Gabs and I got a few pictures with him last weekend.

Close Call

2009-04-08T20:27:00.010-05:00

Boy, I don't get to see ANYTHING of Oldest Ninja these days...save for the few minutes early in the morning when she comes out to feed and water that lazy, delusional Newfie, and the half-crazed, hyperactive border collie and myself. She was tied up at an away soccer game, getting her face kicked in and just generally having a fine large time without me, all evening yesterday....and here it is way after dark tonight and she still hasn't made it home yet from her away track meet. At least she did take a moment to call me on her cell phone between events to announce that she ran her best time ever in the 800 tonight. She ran it in 25 seconds LESS than her previous best time! Of course she placed in the event! And no one kicked her in the face tonight! Whooo-hoooo! That Oldest Ninja sure does LOVE track and soccer!

...Speaking of getting kicked in the face...I had a REALLY CLOSE CALL myself recently that some of you might not now about...

Last weekend when my incorrigible sister, Gabby and I met up at our dad's house, we wound up in what could have been a very dangerous situation...all because of Vader's little people. (You know, my LAME brother, Vader, the one who won't even bother to come up to see me even when his PEOPLE are coming?!...yeah...THAT brother!) Anyway, his two little people nearly got goofy Gabs and I KILLED. Yes, I did say KILLED. It was horrific.

One minute Gabs and I were just sitting there happily chewing the fat together and the next minute there were Vader's two little people dragging around a long, thin, dry thing with googly little eyes. At first we were both highly interested. I mean, who wouldn't have been? We even thought he looked like he might be a fun guy to play with. Vader's little people certainly seemed to being having fun with him. Oh the innocence of little people!

What none of us realized (then) was that we were eye to eye with the one of the most dangerous menaces of the cybersphere, Mr. Stick!!!!! Think, MANSON...think DAHMER...think--well, you get the idea! True to his devious nature, that horrid, splintery Mr. Stick started STABBING at us with his sharp pointy end when we least suspected it! Its a wonder we escaped injury! Gabs and I tore into the hideous little beast and, last I saw, he was running away through the weeds squealing in that high pitched woody little voice of his! Horrid Mr. Stick...he better not EVER show his googly eyes anywhere near me EVER again!!! I'll show him how we FETCH sticks around HERE!!!

You should keep your own eyes peeled...rumor has it this sneaky stick is showing up all over the place, endangering innocent dogs everywhere...

Can Life Possibly Get Any BETTER!!!

2009-04-07T22:19:00.003-05:00

Whoooo-hoooo!!! Guess what, guess what, guess what??? We went to DOG CLASS tonight! I had no idea it was time for dog classes to start back up. As previously noted, my irritating Spokeswoman does not bother to let me know about anything ahead of time...just springs things on me. Any body have any idea of how I can TRAIN her to INFORM me of important matters in a TIMELY manner?

But, back to the subject at hand...we had dog class tonight! It was the "advanced beginners' class" so it was a lot smaller than our class last Fall. There's always lots of rank beginners, but advanced beginners are a lot rarer! Everyone in the class was SHOCKED at how big I've gotten! Last time I was in class, I was just ten weeks old and now I'm nearly nine and a half months old (and almost sixty pounds bigger)!

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE dog class!!! So many other dogs to meet and greet and TREATS!!!! We are getting ready to learn to drop into a down while coming, so we practiced sinking into a down from a stand without going into a sit first...they taught us that by putting a treat in front of our noses and then sliding it down to our chest. Of course we all happily sank back to the floor to get that wonderful treat back at the end of our noses!...and then ATE them!

Class was so much fun! Medium Sized Ninja came with the usually cranky Spokeswoman and I. Afterwards, we went to the college where the Spokesguy teaches and picked up Littlest Ninja. She was hanging out with the Spokesguy while he was jamming with his bluegrass band. Oldest Ninja was busy elsewhere at a soccer game. The two smallest Ninjas, the usually stingy Spokeswoman, and I went to DQ to get one of those wonderous pup cups. There was a REALLY long line, though, that didn't seem to move, so the impatient Spokeswoman left DQ without even getting up to the drive through window. The little Ninjas and I were nearly reduced to TEARS. But, then, she pulled into McDonald's and ordered ice cream cones all the way around. I have to say, McDonald's puts more ice cream in their dollar cones than DQ does! The stingy Spokeswoman didn't actually buy me my own cone. Since McD's apparently doesn't give free ice cream to dogs (unlike dog-friendly DQ!), the stingy Spokeswoman requested that her cone be put in a cup. Then she scraped the top of her cone off and just ate the cone and the ice cream inside the cone. I got the top! And, guess what?...the TOP of a dollar ice cream cone from McD's is about three times bigger than an entire pup cup from DQ's!!! The cup was really deep, but that is just fine because it was FULL TO THE TOP with ICE CREAM!!! It was challenging to get all the ice cream out--but, I'm always up for a challenge...especially if it involves ICE CREAM!!!!!

DOG CLASS and ICE CREAM!!!! Life couldn't be better!

Oh, and when Oldest Ninja got back home from her soccer game, I found out that she played "Sweeper" again...got kicked in the face and hit in the face with the ball...winding up with a bloody nose and swollen lip. She was pretty excited when she got home. She thinks battle scars are cool. I think Oldest Ninja is COOL!!!

Deceased, Departed...

2009-04-07T05:00:00.001-05:00

THIS is how you play DEAD!!! Aren't I CONVINCING here? I decided to let Gabs play the role of Viscous Victor--trying to build her confidence up for when she has to face the roving gangs of murderous sled dogs (no offense, Khyra!) up in Alaska.

(My acting skills amaze even me! I couldn't have been more convincing, short of laying in a puddle of blood. Hmmm...THAT'S a good idea for next time... a puddle of blood and maybe a smattering of pig intestines...)

(Okay, Okay...don't get all grossed out! This is what comes of living in the house of a nurse...you should hear my Spokeswoman talking at the supper table...that would soften the shock of my ideas! Gabby's Spokeswoman is just as bad. Those nurses are all alike! And after you've lived around them for a while, they just start rubbing off on you!)

Mmmmm...pig intestine...I think I'll go dig up a snack!

Friends are Such a Blessing...

2009-04-06T22:13:00.002-05:00

Thank you Maggie and Mitch for this beautiful award. I hope everyone who visits my blog will take this award for themselves. I am overwhelmed with how many wonderful friends my path has crossed with in the short month and a half since I began blogging!

A Quick Visit with Dad and Gabby!!!

2009-04-06T04:23:00.002-05:00

It was a terrific weekend! I got in a short with visit my Dad and my sister, Gabby! Gabby and I are planning on going to see our brother, Vader, before Gabs heads up to Alaska. Boy, I'm going to miss ole Gabs!

This final picture is of my sister (Gabby) and I.

How to Deal with Clingy People

2009-04-05T04:26:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, Kenney and Jean came down from Kansas City to visit me! Of course the obnoxious Spokeswoman always thinks everything is all about HER, so she kept butting in on my company.

Further adding to my irritation was that Jean thought we needed a photo shoot together. Mind you, I don't mind posing for pictures--it comes with the turf when you are as famous and popular as I am--but I cannot abide with people HANGING on me. It's okay for the Ninjas to do it, because they are small and cute and who could tell them, "No!"...but GROWN people--that's a different story. Don't these people have any sense of decorum or DIGNITY?! My pet peeve is grown people hanging all over me! Don't get me wrong, I LIKE Jean...I would just like her better from across the room!

I'm pretty adept at gently enforcing my boundaries, though. I just gave Jean a sloppy, wet kiss right across her face and the moment she reflexively reached up to wipe the slobber off her face (thus only securing me by ONE distracted hand instead of the former two-handed death-grip!) I made a break for it! Works every time...even with small Ninjas!

2009-04-05T04:20:00.007-05:00

Later, I decided that sometimes you just should humor these mal-adjusted grown-ups so that they will quit obsessing on the whole photo thing and move on to more enjoyable activities. So, I cooperated with Jean. Of course, the moment the forever-attention-seeking-Spokeswoman saw me softening, she had to jump in and try to get in the picture, too. Sheesh! I'd just about had enough of HER interference by this time (trying to yack the legs off of MY company when MY company really wanted to just play Flying Rabbit with ME)--so, I did what she hates most in all the world...I slapped a slimy, wet trail right across her face, too! THAT got her out of my hair for the rest of the day!

People are so easy to manipulate. I learned a long time ago that growling and snapping tends to make them even more resistant to guidance. The simplest way to direct people and keep them in line is by the giving or with-holding of affection. It works EVERY time. The secret is to correctly read what kind of individual you are dealing with. For example, Gabby's Spokesperson LIVES to be licked across the face. When I was just a teeny tiny pup, she was forever grabbing me up and putting her face in mine and cooing, "Give me kisses, little Black!" (That was back before I had a real name!) Well, when I was three weeks old I had had just about enough of her suffocating demands, so, I growled at her, quite fiercely the next time she stuck her big old face in mine. She isn't too smart. She just got all big eyed and said, "Did you just GROWL at me, Black?" Since she obviously needed remedial translation, I responded by BITING the end of her nose quite decisively. THAT kept her out of my face for a couple of weeks. She started leaving me alone and pestering the other pups in the litter instead. But, she is a slow learner, so, eventually, we were back at point "A" once more, with her holding me up and sticking her face right in mine, so, I again had to growl and snap her nose as hard as I could. THAT is when she and my Spokesperson decided I had "aggression issues". Can you believe it? Just because none of the other pups had the nerve to put people in their proper place like I did, they labeled ME as "people aggressive" and "dog aggressive". That is when the evil Spokeswoman took over and started treating me like I was in Boot Camp or something. When I tried protecting her from an untrustworthy repair-man, at the age of ten weeks, she hauled me off to obedience school. I was the only ten week old pup in the whole class...everyone else was at least a year old. You would think she would have at least taken me to PUPPY CLASS. They DO have those, you know!...nice places where you get to socialize and hang out with other pups! I would have ENJOYED that, but, NO...she has to haul me off to OBEDIENCE school. Well, the joke was on her, because I showed up all those other furry slackards. I was the best in the class and everyone ELSE saw how adorable and BRILLIANT I was...so that backfired on my vindictive Spokeswoman! I came out looking brilliant and sweet and precious and oh so amazingly mature, while SHE just looked like the tyrant she is!

It was about that time in my life that I discovered it is much more effective to manage people (non-strangers) with either the application of affection or the with-holding of affection rather than with overt aggression. (Strangers are still best handled with undisguised aggression!) Take my Spokeswoman, for example...if I really want to bug her, I catch her off guard with a big sloppy kiss right across her lips. That just grosses her out and totally redirects her away from whatever it was that she was doing before I discombobulated her ability to think by an intelligently applied expression of "affection"! On the other hand, for people like GABBY'S Spokeswoman, I would use just the OPPOSITE tactic. Gabby's Spokeswoman is utterly shameless...she will beg and plead with me for a kiss and offer her face over and over again. I look at her with wide-eyed innocence and keep my tongue firmly IN my mouth. The more she begs, the more confused I look. It is a delightful diversion in my day! I love it when Gabby's Spokesperson is feeling all needy and she comes to visit!

Life is MIGHTY GOOD THESE DAYS!!!

2009-04-03T19:56:00.009-05:00

Ahhh...life is fine! I'm back to shadowing my usually annoying Spokesperson during the day while the Ninjas are in school (which includes car rides through drive through lines!) and hanging with the Ninjas once they get out of school. In the pictures here, I'm chewing on a dried pig's ear while Littlest Ninja uses me as a headrest while playing her Nintendo DS. Life is good...so good!

Oh, and I got to be interviewed by Bark Kent!!! And Joey gave me all kinds of really neat awards!!! The only thing that could possibly make life better now is if the psychotic little Border Collie and I caught that pesky squirrel that keeps mocking us from about nine feet up in the tree, when I can only jump seven and a half feet! The Oldest Ninja is a pole vaulter, and she says she thinks she might be able to help me solve this problem!

For the Life is Grand award I have to list 5 reasons why life is grand:

1) There is ICE CREAM in this world!
2) Three small Ninjas live at my house!
3) I get taken through lots of drive-through lines! (Today it was Nachos Bell Grande!)
4) We are back to our daily walks (the fat, lazy Spokesperson; the psychotic border collie; the couch potato Newfoundland; the Medium Sized Ninja; the Littlest Ninja; and I!)!
5) I've been following Maggie and Mitch's advice and eating plenty of COOKIES!

AND...I've got my own BLOG now, too!

I would like to pass these awards on to:

Brandie (who recently tagged me for 25 random things...I promise, I will get to that soon!)
Princess Eva and Brice
Khyra (even though you already have the Fabulous Blog Award!)

(Oh! And this is the text that accompanies the Rose Award: Pink Roses are given to all friends out there, bringing them a sweet and fruitful day. Those who receive these roses as a gift, you need to pass it on to 10 friends of yours to show them you care. And of course, for those who received the roses, that's to show that you're never forgotten.)

a few more photos from today...

2009-04-03T19:20:00.000-05:00

Littlest Ninja Sure Knows How to Skid...

2009-04-02T07:15:00.000-05:00

Whooo-hooo! I think my prison sentence is OVER!!! The annoying Spokeswoman took all three of us for a walk yesterday. It sure was good to get out from behind the walls of that privacy fence! We would've gotten to walk longer, but Littlest Ninja got injured. She had made the mistake of letting that psychotic little Border Collie take her running. Littlest Ninja, in case I haven't mentioned it before, is fast as the wind. That Ninja can RUN! In fact, it is rumored by several of the teachers at her school that she is the fastest first grader out of all 200 first graders in her school! Last year, they had races during field day and Littlest Ninja beat everyone...over and over again. Even after she had already raced multiple times without a rest in between, she was still able to beat even fresh runners. Some of the boys were so desperate to beat her that they pushed themselves so hard they wound up on the sidelines throwing up...THAT is what made her a LEGEND at her school

Anyway, tonight, she was running like a wind with that hyperactive Border Collie when disaster struck. She tripped. She was still holding tight, as she went down, to Rivie (who didn't trip) and so she skidded quite a ways and really skinned herself up badly. She's a tough Ninja, though! She didn't cry a bit or fuss at all...just hiked up her dress (to keep it out of the blood) and marched the mile back home! I wanted to lick her knee for her, but the obnoxious Spokeswoman kept interfering with my efforts. I hope Littlest Ninja knows I tried to clean her knee for her. That Spokeswoman is going to meddle too much one of these days!

*************************************************************************************

Well, I don't know how the voting ever turned out on Suzuki's blog. I thought the vote was going to be over Monday morning, but then when I checked Monday morning it was going on through Tuesday morning. It was running pretty close when I checked late Monday night, but then when I checked on Tuesday, the voting poll had been taken down and no results were posted. It's Thursday now and I still haven't heard who won. Oldest Ninja told me, though, that SHE will interview me here on THIS blog! I'm not sure exactly when she is planning on doing this...but I'm really looking forward to it! I can't wait to see what she wants to ask me! She's been so busy with track and soccer lately, that I hardly get to see her....so, I'm pretty excited that she is going to take time out to interview me!!! I hope she invites me into the HOUSE for the interview!!!! And, maybe she will serve me ICE CREAM during the interview...that would be a very hospitable and polite thing to do!!!

Can't Post Today

2009-03-30T06:13:00.003-05:00

Sorry folks...I won't be able to post today...just this quick note to let everyone know WHY I won't be able to post today. The rotten Spokeswoman is leaving for Kansas City in a matter of minutes and taking the computer and NOT ME, with her! This will make her THIRD trip to KANSAS CITY in the last two and a half weeks that she has NOT taken ME on. I'm am PINING AWAY to see my dear, sweet, vain sister, Gabby, who, I might add, WILL BE MOVING AWAY TO ALASKA FOR FOREVER IN JUST A FEW WEEKS!!!! Do the Spokespeople care? NO! Gabs had PROMISED to come tracking with me last Monday. She was a no show--lame Spokespeople of hers! Then she called and said she would come this past Saturday and Sunday. Again, no show. Lame Spokespeople! Now, supposedly, she is going to come see me this coming weekend...right...not holding my breath here!

So, you can see why it is especially important that I go to Kansas City to see HER....because, obviously SHE is never going to make it down here to see me! I have begged and begged and begged my Spokeswoman to give me a ride down there. Good grief, she is going there, anyway! It is not like it would take an ounce more of gas to bring me along! I just don't understand this obstinate, heartless, unreasonable Spokeswoman I got stuck with!

Did I mention that this is day EIGHTEEN of my sentence of confinement? The Spokeswoman promised to spring me on day TWENTY-TWO...we will see if she keeps her word, that Slippery Spokeswoman! To make today even sadder, if that is possible, the Ninjas are going back to school this morning. Spring break is over. The days are going to be much longer now. I can already feel depression settling in.

sigh.

The Problem with TAN Legs...

2009-03-29T08:00:00.004-05:00

First things first!...if you haven't yet voted for me, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE pop over to Suzuki's blog and in the upper right side, vote for me, RANSOM! Today is the final day for voting...we are DOWN TO THE WIRE!!!

Yesterday I discovered I was at a natural disadvantage here in the backyard with my lovely, contrasting German Shepherd coloring. But, let me start at the beginning...

Thursday was gorgeous...Spring in all its glory. Then the newscasters predicted a HUGE snow storm for the weekend. Well, as it turned out, we just got RAIN...lots of it. Which made the flowerbed nice and squishy. There aren't any flowers in it...the other dogs took care of that long before I ever came along. So, there it was...wonderful, glorious patch of black mud begging to be dug in. It was just a tiny little hole...not even quite big enough for me to lay in...but the Spokeswoman was not pleased. I tried incriminating the other two mugs who hang out back here with me, but she wasn't buying it. Finally, it dawned on me why my well reasoned defense was falling on deaf ears. You see, I have nice tan legs, but they all have black legs. Of course black mud does not show up on black legs! Black mud, however, IS very apparent on lovely tan legs. THAT was my downfall!

Things are looking much better today, though. Being of the self-cleaning working dog German Shepherd variety, I look as spiffy this morning as though I just waltzed out of a bubble bath. (I don't SMELL like I just waltzed out of a bubble bath--thank goodness!--but, I do LOOK amazingly clean...with absolutely NO assistance from my Spokesperson, thank you very much!) Things are also looking much better today because the rain has paused and because I got PIZZA for breakfast! Not just any pizza, but a huge slice of Godfather's MEATLOVER'S Pizza!!! All three of us got a slice for breakfast this morning. My Spokesperson is lame on most counts, but I will give her credit here--she does have good taste in the left-overs she regularly doles out to us! She still doesn't COOK for me (like Suzuki's Mom), but, at least she does give me Pizza and ICE CREAM!!!

Hah! Rivie THOUGHT I was being affectionate, but, actually, she had a bit of pepperoni grease dripping off her chin! I LOVE Meat-Lover's PIZZA!!!

A Fellow Pup in Desperate Need

2009-03-28T11:44:00.002-05:00

One of my blogging friends just notified me of this chow puppy that she found by the side of the road yesterday. The pup was picked up by Animal Control and only has three days to find a home. If anyone knows of any one able to give him a home, please contact my friend here for more details.

"Oldest Ninja" here!!!

2009-03-27T12:44:00.002-05:00

Wow Ransom, you seem pretty excited to have me posting a scavenger hunt on your blog here!!! However, we do need to get a one thing straight. Ransom, I'm sorry to say that YOU CANNOT WIN THE PRIZE!!!!!! Even if it is ice cream, you can't have it!

Anyways, just letting you know that I'm here and starting to put together Ransom's Scavenger Hunt!

~darcy.lin. (aka. the oldest ninja)

HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

2009-03-27T12:40:00.004-05:00

Whooo-hooo! I have the COOLEST NEWS!!! The oldest Ninja has agreed to be a guest author here on my blog! She said that we need to pull out all the stops next week when I become famous on Suzuki's blog. She is busy right now combing through my blog to look for obscure facts to weave into a scavenger hunt! She said we need to have a really cool prize and run the contest for about a week! I can't wait!!! I hope the prize is ICE CREAM!!! And I hope I win it!!!

I can't wait for you all to meet my oldest Ninja! She is so cool! She shares a lot of my personality traits!!! I can't believe she is going to write on MY blog!!!! I just feel like running in tight happy circles and squeaking!!!!

OH, and if you haven't yet voted yet, RUN to Suzuki's blog RIGHT NOW and vote for RANSOM!!!

Why You Should Vote for RANSOM:

2009-03-27T11:41:00.009-05:00

HELP!!! I need more votes! Maggie and Mitch are hot on my trail. It is tough shaking off two dogs at once! If you haven't already been to Suzuki's to vote for me (in the upper left hand side-bar...click on RANSOM!), you need to do so RIGHT AWAY! There are only three days left to vote and I am losing my lead fast. That Maggie and Mitch play HARDBALL!!! My suspicion is that they are saving up their votes until the last minute to SNOW the poll when there is no time left for me to pull out my own stops! I've been to their blog! They get about four hundred bazillion comments to every article they post! I can see the writing on the wall. They are just hanging back letting me THINK I am in the lead and then, at the last possible moment, those Airedales are going to pull out their firepower and have all their commenters hop over to Suzuki's and vote. The really nice ones are the ones you have to watch out for the closest...they're the ones that catch a pup off guard!

I know all the other contenders (Tweedles, Mochi, Maggie and Mitch) are nicer dogs than me, but, look at it this way...is it right that the NICE dogs always get all the breaks?! Some of us just weren't born to be nice. I mean, what kind of undercover cop would my dear dad have made if HE had been nice? It isn't just a matter of national security (our need for non-nice dogs), it even comes down to our everyday happiness. I mean, just think about it for a minute...how boring would this world be if we were all nice? There NEEDS to be a few of us brave, self-sacrificing dogs out there willing to break the mold and suffer rejection...willing to step away from nice-ness for the sake of the greater good. I AM that pup...willing to stand alone and call it like I see it, even when it leaves me branded and scorned...labeled a trouble-maker and not a "nice" pup.

Again I contend, is it right that the NICE DOGS always get all the breaks? Look deep into your heart and then give this coyote a moment of happiness in her pathetically lonely existance...vote for RANSOM!

...and, in case you've lost count, it is day SIXTEEN of my egregious confinement. (Evil Spokeswoman, I spelled egregious RIGHT! I think that is my new favorite word! It just fits my life here with the sinister Spokeswoman so well.)

I Need Your Votes!!!

2009-03-26T13:47:00.002-05:00

Hey, I need EVERYBODY'S help!!! I've been nominated on Suzuki's blog to possibly be featured in an interview a week from tomorrow. The problem is, I am up against some stiff competition (Maggie & Mitch, Mochi, and Tweedles)! Soooo...I need everyone who has a free moment to breeze on over to Suzuki's blog and look at the top of the left hand side-bar and vote for me, Ransom!!! Thanks, guys!

LEAPING requires great concentration, Grasshopper!

2009-03-26T10:33:00.000-05:00

Day Fourteen of my Interminable Confinement...

2009-03-25T21:06:00.004-05:00

Fourteen days down, seven more to go...

Really, today wasn't half bad. I had people company in the backyard with me all day long. The Spokesguy, who doesn't interact with me much, spent all day out back burning gumballs and pine needles. He actually isn't such a bad character. When the Spokeswoman isn't around, he even gives me a quick pat on the head. I think that evil Spokeswoman must have told him not to play with us dogs, because he acts like he doesn't like us whenever she is in sight and just grumbles about us, but then when she isn't around, he pets us and talks to us. Of course, I wouldn't push him, even when he is being nice. I saw how he reacted that time Rivie went all psychotic and tried to rip Gloria's throat out...the Spokesguy came TEARING out of the house and before he could even get a hold of Rivie, she let loose of Gloria's throat and dove into the doghouse to hide. Mind you, the Spokeswoman had been out there trying to pry Rivie's teeth out of Gloria's throat without making any headway at all, but all the Spokesguy had to do was come out of the house and Rivie turned tail and ran. I was just a little pup at the time, but, I'm smart enough to know if Rivie has enough respect for him/fear of him/ to instantly snap out of full-blown psychosis, he must be a force to be reckoned with! He's awfully quiet, but I have a feeling he is not to be crossed.

Have I mentioned that Rivendell has issues? She was okay back before Shanachie began failing. Shanachie kept everyone in line. But, a few months before Shanachie passed on, Rivie decided to assume command. Poor old Gloria didn't care if she took charge, but, Rivie thought she needed to rip someone's throat out to establish her position as leader and, since I was still just a pup, she decided to focus her pent-up aggression on poor old never-hurt-even-a-fly, overgrown horse-of-a-dog Gloria. Luckily, as I've mentioned, the Spokesguy put a quick end to Rivie's reign of terror. HE'S the boss.

(You can just look at a picture of that crazed little Border Collie and see that she has issues! It's in her EYES! She acts so sweet 99% of the time, but there is always that psychotic streak of hers lurking just beneath the surface, ready to strike when you least expect it. Believe me, I have my hands full keeping her in line! Fortunately for me, I am nearly double her weight now. Of course that didn't help poor Gloria any, but, then, Gloria could be bullied by a mouse! I don't take any guff off anyone! Particularly not half-crazed little Napoleonic Border Collies!)