from Ransom: She Has a Problem...

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

She Has a Problem...

This post copied from the Spokeswoman's blog and written by the Spokeswoman:

It's in our genes. It has mercilessly marked five successive generations. But she doesn't SHARE my genes, so, I had thought she would be safe.

I was wrong.

Today the truth slapped me in the face.

My youngest has a problem. Only four months old and already she is addicted...to the white stuff.

Am I sure she is addicted?...well, let's put it this way...
the DEALERS.know.her.by.name.

Yes...today I happened to pass through the DQ drive-through to pick up my regular. As I pulled up to the window, I overheard voices from the dim, cool recesses of the DQ as one shadowy figure asked the other, "Can you pass this through to Ransom?"

How do they KNOW her NAME??? I can only assume that she has been making trips to the DQ on the sly, without me, to get those irresistible Pup Cups.

Eating it in secret...I'm pretty sure that is one of the hallmarks of an addiction...
and, here, all this time, I've thought she was just a social ice cream eater...

I can only wonder, where will the madness end?

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After an extraordinarily successful day of tracking, my spokesperson took this portrait of my sister and I.
I am the stunning one. My sister, Gabby is the lazy one that had to lay down because she was too tired to sit for this picture.
Did I mention that we are both in training to be Search and Rescue Dogs? My sister, Gabby, got me involved in it. She thought I needed to branch out into something more socially acceptable than Ninja assasinations...you know, give my image more balance...make me more of a Renaissance Dog!

and Gloria (a one ton Newfoundland mix that has perceptual difficulties...poor thing is scared of her own shadow and thinks she is a teacup poodle. She is forever trying to fit her horse sized body into the tiniest little places...or worse, trying to sit in the lap of the smallest Ninja).

Obviously, BOTH of my backyard side-kicks require extensive supervision. Sadly, I realize that often I am their only link to sanity. But, then, I always knew that with great power comes great responsibility...

I was born 6-15-08. I have four brothers and four sisters. My mother was a hot-blooded, iron-willed Hispanic beauty with a shiny new green card. My father was an undercover cop used to living on the edge.

My name is Ransom Lin Pachis. Most people just call me Ransom.

"Lin" is in honor of the three Chinese (not Japanese!) Ninjas who invited me to join them when I was a mere six weeks old.

"Pachis" is in honor of my rough and tumble Hispanic ancestry. (When I still lived with all my brothers and sisters, my parents called me Tortuga, while everyone else simply called me Black...but, seriously, I'm more of a pachis than a tortuga!)

Hah!...I bet you thought I was a GERMAN shepherd! Nope. My registration papers may list that, but, I happen to be a Mexican-Chinese Shepherd! Looks can be deceiving! Oh, and don't let my rugged name or fierce athleticism fool you either--I am quite definitely a female!