Not getting any better here, folks. I did not realize how much I NEED those blessed breaks each day AWAY from the crazed Border Collie and the misfit Newfie. I think I miss my time in the Spokesperson's house more than anything else...well, maybe NOT more than our walks. sigh.
Been thinking a lot about that comment Ammy left a few days ago suggesting health benefits to the shaved belly thing. Turns out every dog that has ever lived with my Spokeswoman has had their belly shaved--EARLY. Yup...even the crazed Border Collie and the delusional Newfie....before them was a German Shepherd/Retriever mix and a German Shepherd-Collie mix and a paroled Rottweiler and a space-cadet Lab mix and and a Cocker Spaniel mix. All of them had shaved bellies by the age of three months. But not me...and here I am NINE MONTHS OLD. Hmmm...sounds a little suspicious if you ask me.
Add to that, I overheard that conniving Spokeswoman discussing having puppies summer after next. Excuse me! I don't think SHE'S gonna have them. I've already figured out that the Border Collie and the Newfie aren't going to ever be having any puppies. I'm not an idiot...I can do the math here... They think I am going to the have puppies? I don't think so! I don't want a passle of whiney little rats following ME everywhere I go. Do they think I have 'STUPID' tattooed across my head? I am a CAREER dog...not some wet-nurse. Don't they KNOW that I can't be tied down. I live on adrenaline, putting my life on the line to protect others. I can't be slowed down with ten or twelve little yelpy, whiney, needy pups! I didn't even like pups when I was one myself (just ask Gabby's Spokeswoman!). I am NOT the motherly type. Gabby is. Poor, shaved belly Gabby is overflowing with nurturing instincts and would be delighted to be tied down the rest of her life with a bothersome litter...but I have better things to do with MY life. And here I thought it was just pleasant happenstance a few months ago when the Spokesperson introduced me to Dexter. Talk about evil conniving! What a prize manipulator! If it weren't for the Ninjas, I'd blow this joint right now. And I have news for that sneaky Spokeswoman, I am NOT being party to whelping any pups a year and a half from now or EVER!!!!
Dexter...I sure do miss him...