Thursday, April 30, 2009

Probably Dying...and no one cares...

I think I've contracted the Swine Flu. It's my Hispanic heritage coming back to haunt me...leaving me vulnerable, when I least expected it. All morning long, my intestines have been snorting and snuffling and gurgling and growling like an entire herd of pigs greedily slogging through an oversized bucket of slop. My intestines have been so loud that the Spokeswoman even suggested I might be more comfortable in ANOTHER room...any room other than the one she was currently occupying. I know it isn't a pleasant sound, but she doesn't have to be that easily made queasy. How does she think I feel? It's MY intestines warring away in there!

I live with such an unsympathetic Spokeswoman. Here I am dying and her only remark was, "Ransom, I wish you would quit eating rotten moles." I'm dying and not only is she not mourning her imminent loss of the best security officer this home has ever had, she is insulting my cooking! Maybe if SHE would cook for me once in a while, I wouldn't have to scavenge together my own creative meals!


22 comments:

The 'splorin' Wolfies said...

oh but you do make a cute patient! get better little buddy!

Princess Eva and Brice said...

Poor baby!! But she did give you a blanky.

princess eva

Clive said...

Well you look quite comfy under that blanket!

Hope you're feeling better soon!

lots of woofs
Clive

Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Just remember to chew up your tissues frekhwently...

AND

Use your paw to khover your mouth when woo sneeze and khough!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra
PeeEssWoo: Hope woo feel better!

the TN Bull Terrors said...

Hope you feel better soon, paws crossed she don't make you drink that yucky pink petrol bizmuck.

Feather, Darla, Pappy & LizzaBella

The OP Pack said...

Ransom, WE care, what can we do to make you feel better? You look quite comfy under that warm blankie.

Hugs,the OP Pack

Mochi and Mommy said...

I hope you feel better soon! You do look cute all wrapped up. :)

Mochi

Ransom said...

Actually, maybe the Spokeswoman is a bit more worried than she lets on. I mean she DID let me snuggle up under HER favorite blanket (not even the Ninjas get that blanket away from her very often!) and then, this afternoon, she tried tempting me with a pup cup from DQ.

She looked REALLY concerned when I gave one half-hearted, weak lick and then lethargically turned away. I was amazed at my own self control! I let the entire cup of ice cream melt without giving it so much as a glance! But, then when she left the car to run an errand, I couldn't help gobbling it all down. I thought maybe she wouldn't notice the empty cup when she got back, but she has an eagle eye for things like that. So, I guess the jig is up. I REALLY don't feel good...but I'm not sick enough to completely pass up ice cream!

Chase said...

Awww Ransom,

being sick is no fun!! I hope you feel better soon. :-) I'm sending you good vibes.


Sniffs and licks,

Chase

Painter Pack said...

Poor Ransom!! If woo get too sick to pass up ice cream, then go to the V-E-T!!! It could be serious! Woo take care and get to feeling better.

Mya Boo Boo

Allison (Dog Mom) said...

We iz sorree dat woo iz sick, Ransom! Feel bettur soon, kay?

Wuv,
Gus and Waldo

Adopting1Soon said...

Ugh, beulah eats moles too. nd then burps the most disgusting smelling burps in the world. I have to wonder if she's adding a pinch of poo into her afternoon snack, that's how bad it smells.

nd Beulah was very very bad last week. She attacked Hannah and I got bit pretty badly seperating them :-( Beulah's spokeswoman is highly upset with her.

I hope you are soon feeling 100% Ransom!

Tweedles -- that's me... said...

oH Ransom,
I care, and want you to get to feeling better soon. Sometimes you have to rest your tummy for a bit- and not eat much.
Please get well
love
tweedles

Ms. ~K said...

You look pawsitively pitiful!!!
When Zack eats deer poop, it sounds like aliens have invaded his tummy.
He usually eats some grass, throws up and feels much better....
Feel better soon,
Zack, Sassy and Buddy

Gabby Pachis said...

Ransom you pathetic thing!! PLEASE!! quit pretending you are sick to get sympathy!! You long nosed weasel!
I will be on my blog soon so you can see my pics.

Ransom said...

Gabby, I'm SICK...but not too sick to have heard that YOU have already been stirring up trouble in Alaska...knocking over all the shelves in the mud room (probably while spinning circles)...your Spokespeople were pretty frustrated with you from what I've heard!

I may have a long nose, but at least I keep MINE clean!

Suzuki said...

Hi Ransom!
The offer is still there if you want to bring your ninjas and live with us :)
Big licks to you
Suzuki
xxx

Joey said...

Get well soon, Ransom! You probably need a lot more ice cream.

See ya!
Joey

Maggie and Mitch said...

What a pretty blankie! We hope you feel better soon, Ransom!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

Mimi said...

Ransom, I care, kiddo, I care. My doggies get the same tummy rumblings and I don't have a clue where they come from or why. Tell your spokesperson that if she has a hard time listening to the noise...just imagine what it's like to "feel" it☺

Laura said...

Vader asked me to write on his behalf he is not feeling well enough to write.

Give me a break Ransom. I mean come on.........you try to look so pitiful and everything. You are always trying to get the Spokeswomen to pay attention to you. She gives you tons of attention and you stil want more and more.

Ransom said...

Goodness, Vader...YOU'RE not feeling well, either? Have you been eating rotten moles, too?

I'm happy to report that I am back to feeling my bouncy, normal self today. Even my appetite is back to normal. It rained all day long, which was a bummer, but it is nice to FEEL so much better!

The concern and well wishes of so many friends in the cybersphere sure was a comfort while I was still feeling under the weather! It seems my cyber friends are a lot more compassionate than my own brother and sister....!