Monday, June 1, 2009

They Are Taking All the Joy Out of Life

I hate it when the Ninjas get together and start sharing secrets with each other! The Oldest Ninja has gone and ruined all my fun... Used to be, whenever the Littlest Ninja came out, I would leap for joy all around her in frantic tight circles. Occasionally I got so excited I would jump clear over her! But, I NEVER jumped ON her, cause I learned early on that THAT would get me in LOTS of trouble with the grumpy Spokespeople.

It sure was a lot of fun leaping circles AROUND everyone, though, and THAT didn't get me into least not with the SPOKESPEOPLE. The Oldest Ninja has a bit of the Spokeswoman in her, sometimes, though, and SHE decided early on that it was unacceptable for me to even leap happy circles AROUND her. Kill joy. She never said anything to the Spokespeople, she just took matters into her own hands...with a secret weapon that the Spokespeople would have never thought of.

It was bad enough that the Oldest Ninja ruined my fun with her, but, recently when the Littlest Ninja came out to feed the Half-Crazed Border Collie, the Lazy Newfie, and myself, I discovered, to my utter dismay, that Oldest Ninja had shared her secret weapon with Littlest Ninja. Yup...there was Littlest Ninja carrying a GROCERY SACK. The mere SIGHT of a GROCERY SACK sends all three of us scurrying for the cover of our dog houses! Afterall, Oldest Ninja whips the sack around in the wind and it makes a terrible commotion...most unsettling if you are right there in mid-jump and a scary white sack goes whipping through the wind right next to your face. We all three give a wide berth to all Grocery Sacks even if they AREN'T currently whipping through the wind. When the Spokespeople found out what the Ninjas have been doing to discourage our leaping around them, they just shrugged their shoulders and said, "Well, I hope no BURGLERS show up armed with dreaded GROCERY SACKS!!!"

You see what abuse we have to endure here? It was bad enough when the Oldest Ninja was ruining my fun, but now even the sweet Littlest Ninja has joined in. Every time she brings out a pan-full of food for us, there is that horrid sack hanging off her arm, tauntingly swaying in the breeze, filling us with dread and driving us away. It is so unfair. It's been so long since I've gotten to knock the pan of food out of Little Ninja's grasp with my exuberant display of joyous leaps. I fear the Spokeswoman is finally tainting even my sweet Ninjas with her stingy, kill joy ways...


Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Maybe woo should have gone with Gabby!


Ransom said...

Yes, Khyra...I think maybe I should have!!!

Princess Eva and Brice said...

I'm just staring at that big pan of food and drooling. Momma insists on starving us - we only get 1 cup in the morning and another at night. Wait a minute.... hold on.... Momma insists that I add that we get a little canned food and green beans too. AND she makes me sit calmly until she says the magic word. Then FINALLY I can eat.


Gabby Pachis said...

Please are embarrassing our breed!! WE are guard dogs and WE fear nothing....PLEASE!! You let a grocery sack scare a bear maybe.......

Suzuki said...

That is a furry big pile of food :)
Do you eat it all at once?
Big licks to you

Joey said...

Plastic grocery sacks blowing in the wind are evil! I always make sure to bark my loudest at them! How diabolical of the ninjas to use them like that.

See ya!

Owner of Storm and Jackal said...

Poor Ransom!! It just isn't right!! How dare they take such a simple pleasure away from you. Evil humans.

Ransom said...

I am fortunate to have so many truly understanding friends. And then I have my SISTER, Gabs...who, as usual has no empathy whatsoever. Well, Miss High and Mighty Gabs, I seem to recall YOU have a TERROR of VACUUM CLEANERS...even when they aren't even plugged in! Now, how ridiculous is that? Everyone knows that there is no way on earth a Ninja could inadvertently kill a dog with a vacuum cleaner, but a grocery sack...that is a completely different matter altogether! A Ninja certainly might inadvertently kill an oblivious dog with a dreaded grocery sack. EVERYONE knows that grocery sacks are far, far, far more dangerous than vacuum cleaners--GABBY!!!!

Oh, and to everyone who marveled at the size of our food pan...there are THREE of us and the lazy Newfie is a HUGE dog...we need a lot of we are used to being able to eat whenever the notion strikes us. We are so busy guarding that we have to be able to fit our meals in a bite here and a bite there...quick snatches grabbed at odd times! We don't have the luxury of set meal schedules! We need our food available 24 hours a day. It is the Oldest Ninja's responsibility to make sure we have plenty of food available around the clock...though she talks the Littlest Ninja into doing the actual legwork quite often!

(If our pan is ever EMPTY, the Spokeswoman makes the Oldest Ninja eat only VEGETABLES for her next meal...that has only happened ONCE in the last two years and it was so traumatic to her that she has been diligent ever since to make sure we always have plenty of fresh food available.)

The 'splorin' Wolfies said...

ahhhh--lol---poor sweet Randsom!

The OP Pack said...

We must be sure Mom doesn't see this post - she has tons of those plastic bags here and we don't want her to do THAT to us.

That's a lot of food for three of you. We are a pack of three and we only get 3/4 cup each twice a day. The night time feeding has a little canned food mixed in. We need to move to your place.

Woos, the OP Pack

Stella said...

A PLASTIC grocery sack is nothing to be afraid of at all. They blow across my yard and I give them what-for! But no one likes to be jumped on ever, so just remember that the next time you get excited. Do a summersault or something but don't jump on people, especially little ninjas.