So Much for Search and Rescue

There are a few things my Spokeswoman and I completely agree on...well, ONE, anyway.  Yappy little dogs with no manners annoy both of us.

I have begun formal classes in Search and Rescue now.  They are led by two people who train a great number of the police K9 patrol dogs and HRD dogs in this area of the country.  It is an hour's travel to get to the training facility.  I commute to these very demanding classes in the new car, chauffered by the Spokeswoman.  Recently, as we were returning home from one of my classes, I noticed the two little dogs who live across the street and three houses down from me running around in my next door neighbor's yard...marking the territory as theirs!  I never go into the neighbor's yard.  I know how rude that is.  So, I was of course standing at attention in the back seat, ears erect, thinking very disapproving thoughts SILENTLY to myself...when, one of those little wretches looked up from his misbehaving and saw me in the car as the Spokeswoman pulled into our driveway. The little jerk had the AUDACITY to run BARKING at MY car in MY own driveway!

Now, mind you, these two little onion-heads have caused trouble repeatedly in our neighborhood.  They are constantly running amuck and aren't under their handlers' control even when they are on LEASHES!  A few weeks ago, the Spokeswoman was walking all three of us (Goofy Newfie, Psycho Border Collie, and myself) along with the two youngest Ninjas when we met these two noisy little onion-heads and their two handlers coming from the opposite direction.  We ALWAYS walk against traffic and YIELD to the traffic.  We walk in the street (all six of us) next to the gutter in compact formation--two Ninjas in lead followed by us three dogs and the Spokeswoman.  The moment we see an approaching car we ALL promptly step up into the grass where the side walk would be had one ever been built and continue walking there until the car has passed.  We do not use it as an occasion to wander through the MIDDLE of other people's yards and we certainly NEVER relieve ourselves in other people's grass.  Well, not long ago, we had the misfortune of meeting the two little onion-heads while we were out on a walk.  They weren't on the proper side of the street and they were way out INTO the street.  Mind you, it is a pretty busy street.  Anyway, there were cars approaching from both directions and in much practiced fashion, the two Ninjas veered off the pavement and into the grass without a word from the Spokeswoman...and the three of us, also veered into the grass, walking in tandem with the Spokeswoman.  Meanwhile, the two little onion-heads and their handlers remain in the middle of the street, totally oblivious.  The two onion heads are busy zig zagging about at the far end of their flexi leash and not even the handlers themselves had sense enough to step towards the side of the road.  There the four of them were, in the middle of the road, holding up traffic from BOTH directions for several minutes as they tried to untangle their dogs' leashes and corral them.  The whole scene just set my teeth on edge.  Even if the handlers are clueless, the DOGS should have a bit of sense!  But these two little onion heads don't.  And, it didn't appear to bother them or their handlers that they were causing a major inconvenience to passing motorists...the fact  that they didn't even have sense enough to be embarrassed made it all the more annoying!

Fast forward to a few days ago as the Spokeswoman and I returned home from my class.  There were the two little onion heads across the street and three houses down from their own house, marking territory in my next door neighbor's yard.  Then, spotting me in the vehicle, one of the little onion heads (the beagle looking one) ran at the car BARKING his little head off at me.  The miniture pincher followed, but was not barking a challenge at me.  There we were in our OWN driveway, being accosted by the little onion-head.  I wanted to bark back, but I knew the Spokeswoman would correct me if I did, so I stood there, looking out the closed window, shaking with pent up aggravation, but enduring the insult quietly and outwardly calmly.  To my utter SHOCK, rather than getting out and shooing the little onion head away, the Spokeswoman acted for all the world like she hadn't even noticed the commotion taking place right outside our car door.  In fact, she matter of factly opened her door, stepped out, and promptly opened MY door!  Well, that's all the permission giving I needed!  I torpedoed out of our car and dove down on that little onion-head.  It was quite a site.  The little monster has such short little legs that he can't run worth a hoot...even under fear of imminent death with his adrenalin racing!  He DID run for all he was worth, though.  And I was right on top of him (literally) every step of the way.  He was running as fast as he could to get away from me, but my front legs were on either side of him every step of the way and I was tucking my head down between my front legs to glower at him with each panicked running, frantic step.  He was yelping like scalding water was being poured on him...little wimp!  I didn't even open my mouth!  I just chased the little onion head all the way back down the street and into his own back yard!  His frantically churning little legs were so much shorter than mine, that I kept going right over the top of him (to his pure terror and the Spokeswoman's carefully veiled amusement).  Anyway, I herded him right back to where he belonged and then  turned on a dime and trotted back to my own yard.  The miniture pincher had followed us...keeping a safe distance from me and keeping his own mouth shut, least I take notice of him, too!  Anyway, it took me all of three seconds to return both the little onion heads to their OWN yard...a feat that would have required at least half an hour had their handlers undertaken it!  I noticed that the Spokeswoman didn't get around to calling me back until my feet hit their yard...and, by then I was running so fast that I was in their backyard before I could skid to a stop and happily come to her call.

Obviously, their handlers were no where in ear shot.  I would have thought the beagle's horrific yelping (all the way from our driveway to their backyard down the block) would have brought them racing out to rescue him, but, there was no sign of life from within their house.  In fact, it was a full half hour before anyone got around to letting the two little onion heads back inside where they belong.  But, I am happy to say, the two little onion heads spent that half hour POLITELY sitting on their OWN front porch.  The beagle onion head did look over my direction and bark a couple of times, but he didn't set foot off his front porch to do it!  I spent the next hour or so hanging out in my front yard watching to make sure those little onion heads stayed in their own yard.  I think I managed to teach them in less than a minute what their handlers haven't been able to teach them in over a year!

In spite of the DRAMATIC SCREAMING of the beagle onion-head...making it sound like he was being ripped from limb to limb when I never so much as laid a tooth on him...just herded him back to his own yard...in spite of all the noise, I thought no one had witnessed what had transpired.  Wrong.  Today, the neighbor who lives next door to the two onion heads was laughing about a certain German Shepherd fixing a neighborhood problem.  He said that the beagle onion head had come into his yard the last time he was mowing and had NIPPED him for mowing his own yard.  He was rather delighted when he saw a certain German Shepherd putting the little onion head it its place for coming onto other people's property and acting out aggressively.

Neither of the little onion heads have been spotted out of their OWN yard since I took matters into hand!  I overheard the Spokesowman admitting to the Spokesguy that she probably should not have opened my car door like that...since I am suppose to be learning to be ALWAYS be gentle (you know, search and RESCUE...not search and DESTROY!), even with onion-heands...but, she just had a weak moment.  Hey!...I'm all for weak moments now and again!  I wish she would have them more often!