Definitely in Cahoots with the Evil SQUIRRELS...

Jackal, nailed it!!! The little rat is working with the squirrels for sure!!!

I'm beginning to wonder if she is even a DOG! She is the size of a cat...and, this is the really weird part, she ACTS like a cat! She has never once barked. Been with us an entire week and hasn't been able to squeeze out one solitary squeak of a bark. Then, this morning, I saw her LICKING her entire body, cleaning herself. She even licked her paws and then rubbed them over her face!

My personal theory is that she is actually a very ugly cat trying to pass herself off as an injured dog in order to gain access to the interior of my Spokespeople's home. And, as perceptive Jackal guessed, her contact is the squirrel in our backyard who does have the eerie habit of approaching the patio door with shocking frequency. It is no coincidence that the little cat-dog connived the Spokeswoman into placing her pallet right there by the patio door, giving her a clear view of the entire backyard and the kitchen at the same time. Awww...such a crafty villain!!!

I got my hopes up yesterday. The Spokeswoman's job was taking her into the heart of an Amish community and she loaded the little trickster up in the car with her. She had all the little Ninjas say their farewells to the cat-dog because she said she was pretty sure she knew a family that would be delighted to have the evil little thing. (Well, she didn't say "evil little thing" exactly...she is a bit naiive and does not realize what a deceptive creature she has been beguiled by.) I was so RELIEVED and elated all day long...but, then, late last night, the Spokeswoman returned with the little rat tucked securely under her arm and moved the little princess rat from her car inverted top kennel half back to my larger inverted kennel top half...in front of the patio door once more. The little rat dog was very pleased with herself...wagging that little corkscrew tail of hers ninety to nothing. No telling what despiteful antics she pulled to keep the sweet Amish young ladies from taking her. Rotten little rat. SHE doesn't WANT to find a new home. SHE thinks she has already FOUND a home and she doesn't plan to budge. Thankfully, the SPOKESGUY has not fallen the least bit under her spell. He wants her out of the house ASAP. Smart man!!! He says we have three dogs already and that is two too many...very WISE man!!! He doesn't particularly like me, either...but, at least he REALLY does not like the little rat dog! And though he isn't fond of me, I am sure I would be his logical pick as an ONLY dog. Oh, how I would dearly love to be an ONLY dog and never more have to supervise the Psycho Border Collie and that Goofy Newfie. Ahhhh...to have the Ninjas ALL to myself!!!!