Saturday, November 28, 2009

Definitely in Cahoots with the Evil SQUIRRELS...

Jackal, nailed it!!! The little rat is working with the squirrels for sure!!!

I'm beginning to wonder if she is even a DOG! She is the size of a cat...and, this is the really weird part, she ACTS like a cat! She has never once barked. Been with us an entire week and hasn't been able to squeeze out one solitary squeak of a bark. Then, this morning, I saw her LICKING her entire body, cleaning herself. She even licked her paws and then rubbed them over her face!

My personal theory is that she is actually a very ugly cat trying to pass herself off as an injured dog in order to gain access to the interior of my Spokespeople's home. And, as perceptive Jackal guessed, her contact is the squirrel in our backyard who does have the eerie habit of approaching the patio door with shocking frequency. It is no coincidence that the little cat-dog connived the Spokeswoman into placing her pallet right there by the patio door, giving her a clear view of the entire backyard and the kitchen at the same time. Awww...such a crafty villain!!!

I got my hopes up yesterday. The Spokeswoman's job was taking her into the heart of an Amish community and she loaded the little trickster up in the car with her. She had all the little Ninjas say their farewells to the cat-dog because she said she was pretty sure she knew a family that would be delighted to have the evil little thing. (Well, she didn't say "evil little thing" exactly...she is a bit naiive and does not realize what a deceptive creature she has been beguiled by.) I was so RELIEVED and elated all day long...but, then, late last night, the Spokeswoman returned with the little rat tucked securely under her arm and moved the little princess rat from her car inverted top kennel half back to my larger inverted kennel top front of the patio door once more. The little rat dog was very pleased with herself...wagging that little corkscrew tail of hers ninety to nothing. No telling what despiteful antics she pulled to keep the sweet Amish young ladies from taking her. Rotten little rat. SHE doesn't WANT to find a new home. SHE thinks she has already FOUND a home and she doesn't plan to budge. Thankfully, the SPOKESGUY has not fallen the least bit under her spell. He wants her out of the house ASAP. Smart man!!! He says we have three dogs already and that is two too many...very WISE man!!! He doesn't particularly like me, either...but, at least he REALLY does not like the little rat dog! And though he isn't fond of me, I am sure I would be his logical pick as an ONLY dog. Oh, how I would dearly love to be an ONLY dog and never more have to supervise the Psycho Border Collie and that Goofy Newfie. have the Ninjas ALL to myself!!!!


achieve1dream said...

Hey, be really nice and helpful to the spokesguy! It sounds like he's your only ally. Good luck on your mission.


Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Alternate Plan Time:

How about sending her to Gabby fur khristmas?

Box 'er up and ship her - she'd fit in the USPS flat rate pakhkaging!


Bocci said...

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You have a smart and witty blog here, Ransom.
I'd love it if you'd check out my blog:
Please feel free to become a "Follower" and comment too. and...when you get a chance, pass Bocci's Beefs on to your friends and family!

Ransom said...

Khyra, that is a FANTASTIC idea!!! I do need to post an update on dear Gabs...she got herself thrown into the penitentiary up there in Alaska and just got out on probation earlier this week! 'Course the fact that my law breaking sister got thrown in the slammer is no surprise...the only surprise is that it took this long for it to happen!

The Army of Four said...

I think Jackal had some good advice there. He seems like the smart one.

Wild Dingo said...

I'm w/Khyra on that... I think Gabby needs someone to supervise like you supervise the ninjas and the pscho border and goofie newfie...

don't take it out on the poor put. she's desperate to belong. she just seems evil. but she only wants a family of her own. your spokespeople will find her a home. never fear!
wild dingo